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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

We just don’t like each other any more

3 replies

CeciliaMars · 14/07/2025 07:04

I always thought that relationships ended when something drastic like an affair happened. But with me and my husband, I just feel like we’ve gradually stopped liking each other over the last few years. He has anxiety and depression and some physical problems too. I have supported him in every way I can over our 15 year marriage, but over time I’ve just become exhausted by the whole thing. He’s permanently exhausted and finds everything hard work. He drinks a bit too much. He does work part time, I work full time, so he has the kids a bit more. He seems to think this is unfair / I’m getting off lightly. We have a cleaner and I carry all of the mental load. We can’t discuss / argue about one thing without it becoming a huge ‘you hate me’ or ‘you’re always angry at me’. I don’t enjoy going out with him any more. We never have sex. I know in my heart of hearts that it’s over, but I’m petrified of what this means for the kids, emotionally, physically, financially.
has anyone’s relationship just fizzled out over time like this? Does anyone have any advice? Thank you.

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 14/07/2025 07:12

End it now, please don’t wait or it will never happen and in 10 years you’ll still be together, still unhappy. Find your happy.

Pixiedust1234 · 14/07/2025 08:10

Agree with pp. The anger and resentment will continue building until the home atmosphere will be incredibly toxic and horrible. He's already complaining about looking after the children more despite working less hours, how do you think the children will feel hearing him say that?

A toxic atmosphere with two parents is more emotionally and mentally distressing for children than having two different homes with happier parents. Don't buy into this "broken home" bullshit.

EDIT - has anyone’s relationship just fizzled out over time like this
I'm leaving my H after 45 years as I cannot face another 20 years of retirement with him, my biggest regret is not leaving 20 years earlier. I could have had a decent life. I could have been happy. I could have been healthy instead of having a body ravaged by stress and anger. So many wasted years but I'm determined not to waste another year. You shouldn't either.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/07/2025 08:15

Yes, it happens in many - most?!?- relationships. Then decisions are made. From experience, for me divorce was the best choice, but that does depend on your finances.

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