Domestic abuse want to leave

[itsraining2024]

Where to start I have so many thought and fears.
I’ve been a sahm for 8 years and have 3 kids 8, 4 and 2

husband is vile and abusive. Financially and emotionally. He doesn’t respect me my kids or my parents and I’ve had enough

yesterday my parents came to talk to him calmly and he called the police saying they attacked him! In the end police clicked on he was lying and asked him to leave the property. Police officer said they could tell he was being abusive towards me as he said things like this is my house it’s my money I pay the mortgage she doesn’t. Tell her this is my room she’s not allowed in it and that’s her room. Think he felt sorry for me and some of the questions the police asked me made them sad which in turn made me think this isn’t what I want.

im scared my husband has a money problem. I had alot of savings at the start of my marriage and he used a lot of them up. It was rainy day money. I still have some left in another account but I’m scared if we were to divorce he would get half of it. I also have some child benefit saved for my kids future and I’m scared he will be given that too. Then it’s the lawyer costs etc how will I afford everything.

he showed the police officers his bank statements saying I use a lot of money and the police man later said to me it was like 5 pounds in Asda and 10 pounds in Sainsbury’s. That also rang alarm bells to say I was being abused. Honestly I’m really scared and anxious about how to take the first step. I don’t want him taking my kids money. It’s their future. He hasn’t saved any money for them and makes us live on the bare minimum. But yet has accumulated a lot of debt on a flashy car. Loans to pay his parents lifestyle abroad etc.

Have you put their money in an ISA in their name?
You have to remember he can claim your savings but you also get to claim on his and his pension.

You have to leave, that's not a question. Children who grow up in homes of DV are DV victims themselves and as a parent you have a duty to protect them from harm.
Use the police and your parents. Call them and say you want to leave but the threat of him is concering. Ring womens aid and your parents, can you stay with them?

Speaking from DV experience here. Document anything and everything starting as of now. Any comments etc. Any threats report to police. Even minor report to 101 and get crime number so its on record. Dont hesitate, it sounds like it will not get better from here on. My ex DH tried to play victim with police but they also saw through him.

Speak to a solicitor initially and remove any money that is in any account in your name. Regardless of what anyone says, my ex husband sold his motorbike for £4500 cash and that was that. No questions asked. And yes, it was purchased as a marital asset from a joint account.

With regards to the debts, if they are solely in his name you may not be responsible. A solicitor will advise. Im not 100% sure.

You will get through it. Stay strong for you DC. It gets better at the other end. Trust me x