how long does it take for sex in your 50,s

[ggggggghh]

Hi,
How long these days does it take new couples to have sex in their 50's. Had 5 dates with sophisticated women, NOT that I want sex now, want to get to know, just wounding how long have persons here in their 50 take to have sex, as dont want to rock the boat.
Bill.

I'm 46, so not quite 50 yet - but if I wasn't getting passionate kisses after date two then I wouldn't even be worried about the sex issue as I don't think there would be much of a future. Yes, some people are slow burners, but I am not, so there's a fundamental incompatibility there. We are all different, yes, but that also means that we don't always fit.

I would say about five dates I would definitely be thinking about it soon. Any plans to have a date at each other’s house or something? Or go back to yours at the end of the night?

I’ve been with DH since we were 18 and I hope to never have to date but honestly I can’t imagine sleeping with someone for months after we’d met. Attraction for me is mental and I have to get to know them well first.

There seems a bit of a gap between ‘nothing else I need or want but this’ and one second hello and goodbye kisses. I think you need to be a bit careful with the all-enveloping rhetoric. You don’t actually know each other, you are still getting to know each other, I think, and saying someone is all you need or want could be a bit suffocating (I would run in the other direction). If you are falling for her, you definitely need to initiate a longer kiss; just ask her how she feels about this.

Well she is not me of course, so I think talking to her openly is much better!

Fwiw, I'm mid-40s but DH was 50 when we met. He asked if he could kiss me on our fourth date and I said no! I'd had rather a traumatic previous relationship, had been single for a decade, and issues that meant I was very hesitant to even start a relationship. Poor man! He says he knew I was the One from the first date so he was very patient. We kissed after a long discussion about past relationships on date 9 which made me feel more secure, and I did initiate it.

A lot of our relationship was similar - he proposed very quickly too, I said no, then brought it up again months later and said yes. He basically was brave in letting me know exactly how he felt and what he wanted, then left it until I was ready.

But, like I said, I had issues and your lady friend hopefully doesn't! But DH and I got there in the end.

As you can see from this thread OP it’s different for everyone. There’s no ‘normal’ or ‘usual’ you need to respond to the person you’re with.

I started seeing a new man in the autumn. We waited 6 weeks. We discussed it regularly and went at a pace we were both comfortable with. But we are both coming out of long term marriages. He is 55, I am late forties. It felt right for us.

I would never have slept with someone by the fifth date, even when younger. I would usually wait 2-3 weeks if I really liked the person

Bill, this is the most wholesome thing I’ve ever read. Signing it off with your name! 🥺

I think you should have a discussion with this woman, maybe start by asking about a bigger/longer kiss rather than just doing it.

See what she says and go from there!

how long does it take for sex in your 50,s

About 2 mins 30 sec here.

Hi all,
Thank you all so much.
Bill.

Do you feel you have chemistry? Slow down and enjoy becoming closer on your dates and it will happen if that spark is there
Different for me as a friend and I recently realised we had that spark and started a casual but monogamous relationship.
Me 60, and him 55
i hadn’t had sex for 7 years and wasn’t looking but it was great. I did wonder if things had changed with age but no in my case