It's me again regarding stbx and his delusion of 50 50 custody.

[VenusJupiter]

Basically I plan next week to move ( on a day he is preferably at work). Anyway so he confirmed tonight that he has told his work that he will have DD 50% of the time ( delusional). He thinks he can work from home 12 hours and look after a baby.
I just need to let off steam. All this because he does not want to pay a penny.
I'm gonna make him go through the system because he told me tonight that what he does with her when he has her is none of my business.
She is 3 months and he has grand plans ( family orders) to pierce her ears. My mum is from a similar culture and had hers done how they plan to do it with a needle!!!!!
Not happening!!!!!
I'm phoning WA again tomorrow.
I am never handing over m daughter to him.
Sorry for letting off steam.
Can't wait to be away.

Thanks for all the support here.
You have all been amazing.

Still not talking to my mum. She's away with my dad seeing her family , but she obviously still thinks the son shines out his backside.

Rant over .

I'm praying every day 🙏

Well obviously he can't look after her while he is working, but I can't see that refusing any contact is going to help at all.
Are you married op?

We are not married . I am moving out next week with DD . I'm on maternity leave just now. He was trying to get me to sign 50 50 custody care. I'm not signing anything made up by him.

He can't have a wee baby 50/50! He's mad.

I've no idea if you can get a prohibited steps order for things like ear piercings, but if you definitely don't want that to happen and he's threatened it, then please look into it with a solicitor, because if it's not explicitly prohibited, and he gets any contact time, he's allowed to do pretty much what he wants then, so you'd have no way of preventing it without a court order.

Is your DD ebf? If she is he won't get 50/50 whilst she is 3 months old.

You're as delusional as he is if you think you can get away with never handing your (plural, your) child over to their father.

If you apply for a PSO to prevent her ears being pierced, it's unlikely to be granted. Good luck trying though.

You need good, solid, legal advice sooner rather than later.

I'm assuming your STBX is named as her father on your DD's birth certificate ? In which case unless you have specific prohibition from a court, her father can care for her as he wishes, whilst she is in his care.

You could simply refuse to let him take her as she is so young, however that's not going to look too good in front of a judge so I would suggest you need to go legal to get the parameters in place.

As for your DM - well here you an just simply refuse to let her have your DD. Grandparents don't have automatic access rights, especially if there is no existing relationship between them

Okay OP so you need to remain very calm and factual about this. As others have said, having 50/50 of a 3 month old baby is not in their best interest- don’t sign anything or agree to this.
But thinking he won’t have any contact or won’t have that eventually won’t help you or get you anywhere, and you may appear to be blocking contact.
In writing, offer him reasonable contact- baby can’t be away from you really or for long at all at this stage. Offer him Saturday afternoons or to visit you in the home with baby. Be calm and clear and state why, keep it child focused.
This will help you later in family court, which I would suspect where this will go if this is his attitude.
Keep it ALL child focused, this is key.
If you feel uncomfortable handing baby over for any unsupervised contact as he may take baby and not return when agreed- while distressing this may actually go in your favour in the long run- you can apply for an emergency court order and it is certainly not in a young babies best interest to be taken from its main caregiver, it’s a crucial time for attachment. He will look like the douche he is.
Good luck OP.

She is bottle fed now x

Missing the point, but if she is getting her ears pierced the safest way by far is with a needle.

But no infant should be mutilated, no matter the culture.

Thank you for reply . I really appreciate that 🙏

Bottle or breastfed, I can’t see a Court agreeing to 50/50 on a 3 month baby, good luck on your move.

Hi Everyone

Really appreciate the replies . Thank you for taking the time. This is such a difficult time.

Can anyone advise on when I should start the process for CM?

He is doing everything to avoid paying , but works 2 jobs.

I phoned WA and they have referred me for legal advice . Also they will see me at their offices for a further chat where I can detail everything.

Thanks again.

What have his work said about him attempting to work 2 jobs whilst in sole charge of a 3month old baby, presumably during work hours? This would not be permitted in most workplaces and I'd be surprised if they agree to it.

I know this isn’t what you want, but in your position if I was concerned my baby would have an awful DIY needle ear piercing job, I would research the best possible place to get it done and do it myself. Not because I think baby’s should have their ears pierced (I really don’t) but because that’s the least worst option

I haven’t read previous threads so I am not aware of the domestic situation.

but when you say you are moving, where to? How far? Will you be responsible for facilitating meet ups if you are the one moving away? Or do you mean you are literally just moving out of the house you currently share to somewhere nearby?

everyone is getting stuck on the whole idea that no court will award 50:50 with a 3 month old but you need to be planning forward. Baby will only be 3 months old for now. Very soon they will be 6 months old and things change with the courts quite a lot in this time frame with regards to access. And then a year old. It will come upon you very quickly