You are lucky to have me - patronising ?

[Agii]

We had an argument with my partner and I got very annoyed about him leaving things on the floor as he goes. And I called him a boy, and I’m not his mother, as I’ve got to teach my young sons to pick after themselves are I understand if they forget. But whoa ! He asked me counter question -

Who am I ? I am a man who provides, look around, you should be grateful, don’t you ever me a boy! Would a boy provide this ? A man does , not a boy !

patronising ?

all I wanted was - i am sorry, I may have behaved like a boy doing this. It was nothing to do with challenging his ability to provide.

thoughts ?

You touched a nerve.

Neither of you covered yourselves in glory.

I get it: it's annoying. We don't communicate perfectly all the time. It's hot, we're all irritable. If you are going to make this a long term thing, you are both going to need to cut each other slack.

Well you patronised him first!

I'm guessing he's the sort of man who thinks it's a woman's job to run around picking up after him.

I don’t think it’s patronising to point out he’s acting like a child not picking up after himself. If this was the first time you raised it you could perhaps have phrased it better but if it’s not the first time I would say it’s fair to let some frustration come through.

but saying that why should you phrase it to cushion his ego when he’s shown you such disregard treating you like a skivy.

being a man has nothing to do with ability to pick up after yourself. Women can provide too. Men can clean up. Is housework womens work? Fuck that I’d not tolerate it firstly because you don’t deserve that but also because of what it teaches your children about the roles of men and women

No idea if that's the right word but he definitely thinks it's your job to clean up after him because that's all you are worth to him. I think the better word would be enlightenment (yours).

Plan an escape, he will only get worse.

You called out the truth and he responded by showing how he feels about your worth. Get rid of him.

You accused him of being a child

He pointed out that he isn't

🤷‍♂️

Bin

He's a misogynist

You had a row, what you said made him angry, he said something back that made you angry.
Wait and see if he improves when you have both calmed down. Sometimes getting a bit angry is the best way for the point to stick.

If he wS single he'd still have to work. There is more to being a partner and parent than earning a living. Even us childless people 'provide'.