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We don’t have any friends….

10 replies

Shleepymummy · 12/07/2025 21:41

DH and I have 2 pre school children, 4 & 2. Weekends are fairly samey- food shop, park, library, find something to do. I’d love to see other couples/families more but we just don’t really have anyone. DH has just one friend he sees- they have a young family too and I like seeing them. But their DD is severely autistic and they have just withdrawn socially, which I totally understand. Easier for them to do what works for their DD which often means just being at home on their own. That’s it for my DH, there is no one else in his social circle.
I have quite a few friends but the situations just don’t align with weekend plans. My good friend from school married a man with a best mate who they are so close to, they decided to live in the same street and have children identical ages. The men arrange to see each other/families constantly-I never get a look in with my friend. I’ve tried and nothing ever comes of it and she never asks me (as the plans are just made for her quite easily- she’s very popular with lots of people). Another friend’s husband works at weekends. My 2 close work friends don’t have kids, and spend their weekends either renovating their homes or going away doing things. Best mate is childless and lives 4 hours away. Made a mum friend but I would just feel strange to suggest meeting as a family, she always seems busy and has lots of friends who have families. She met them in pregnancy through that Peanut app, feel like I should have done that and have missed out on a huge part of creating a social life. Also think well people never ask to see me/us, so it feels like we aren’t in demand/wanted to be social with.
How do you make adult couple/family friends?! Thought when DD starts school in Sept we might meet some people. After the welcome meeting at her school though, I felt a bit discouraged.

OP posts:
pinklemonade215 · 12/07/2025 21:42

Why’s that? I’d say to give people a chance though; they may have been nervous Flowers

PapaPerspective · 12/07/2025 21:43

You should be asking "How do I make friends?" Not "How do we make friends."

ShaunaSadeki · 12/07/2025 21:50

Dies your friend whose husband works weekends not want to hang out?

BreezyPeachGoose · 12/07/2025 21:54

Primary school opens up lots of options to socialise and meet other with children the same age, either on the drop off / collection of helping with school events etc.

Mauro711 · 12/07/2025 22:18

You should make friends for you. It's very hard to find friends who will also come with a husband that will want to be your husband and kids the same ages as your kids who like each other. Focus on your need for friendship and then if they have a family that happen to align with your family that's great, but that shouldn't be a criteria.

Orangesandlemons77 · 12/07/2025 22:23

I think it's normal just to hang out with family at weekends, especially with young children. Maybe look t something in the week such as a toddler group to meet other mums and connect socially?

Overthebow · 12/07/2025 22:25

i wouldn’t rely on school to make family friends. It can happen, but often doesn’t. Lots of families already have family friends, or close family with cousins, or maybe don’t want to. School is good for meeting other mums and mums of your DCs friends but that doesn’t mean they’ll want to hang out as a family. I agree with pp that you make friends for you, and if they happen to have same age dc and want to do things as a family then great but if not you do things with them.

Gymbunny2025 · 12/07/2025 22:29

Orangesandlemons77 · 12/07/2025 22:23

I think it's normal just to hang out with family at weekends, especially with young children. Maybe look t something in the week such as a toddler group to meet other mums and connect socially?

Agree.

Endofyear · 12/07/2025 22:45

When I moved here 25 years ago I didn't know a soul, had 4 kids and was heavily pregnant with my 5th & DH worked away all week. I figured I would have to make the effort or be lonely! Made a few mum friends and invited them and their partners for a few meals at ours, then I turned 30 and invited all the mums I chatted with at the school to bring their husbands and kids to a bbq at ours. We ended up being good friends with a few, went on camping trips and getting together for bonfire nights, halloween, birthdays etc. Kids are grown up now and we are still friends.

Basically, if you want to make friends, chat to the other mums and invite them over! Make the effort to host people and hopefully you'll hit it off with some of them - blokes usually just need a few cold beers and a rugby/football match to watch for them to bond!

HMW19061 · 12/07/2025 23:01

Can’t you meet your friend whose husband works weekends by yourself with the kids? I have a group of ‘mum friends’ and although we try to mostly do week day stuff in the school holidays we do sometimes meet on weekends as well without husbands. I had them all round to our house today for the afternoon, my husband made plans with his friends so he was out of the house and the other husbands just enjoyed a few child free hours either at home or with their friends. Other than the odd christening or birthday party, we’ve never invited the husbands to events.

We do a family meet up with my best friend and her husband and kids a few times a year as we live a few hours apart but as our husbands don’t really know each other well (and don’t really have much in common) so it’s often a bit awkward. It’s much easier to meet without them.

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