Can’t seem to shake feelings of loneliness..

[AngelAnna]

Just that really. I’ve an interesting busy job with good flexible hours, nice work colleagues, I’m married, two adult children, few hobbies that keep me busy, but can’t shake off that feeling of loneliness. I’m an only child with an elderly mother and family living miles away, so no closeness there. I often feel a bit lost in the world, can anyone relate? How do I close the gap?

How close are you to your husband? Or are you yearning for a female friend?

I have to admit no friend is as close to me as my sister, but there is one who could might be in the future.

It does take time and shared experiences. In my case years, to get really close, but what I'm able to tell straight away is when someone is at least a potential friend. The rest is due to circumstance and putting some work in.

Are you hobbies individual or group hobbies? Have you tried friend matching sites?

I can relate to this as I've been feeling the same way. Busy with life but feeling 'lonely and a deep empty' on the inside. No real friends that care.

We’ve been together years and somehow manage to make it work.

Lonely and deep I can relate to and yes, I’ve no real friends that care either. Life is busy but different to how I thought it would be. I probably do need to extend out with a few interests and see what happens.

Same !! By any chance are you menopausal..? Even though I have a lovely group of friends and am married, my DH has different hobbies , my kids are no longer needy and I feel a little lost …

I’ve felt like this for a few years now. I know that I am quite introverted as well and don’t mind my own company a lot of the time. But I also feel deeply lonely as well. I have a few superficial friends and don’t know how to get more or a deeper relationship with a female friend. It makes me sad.

Me too - I have, currently, a couple of friends whom I think of as my closest friends. (and a handful of more casual friends.) But with one of them, she's about 8 years younger and at my age that feels like quite a gap, and there are things I think we don't agree on that feel like the elephant in the room. I don't often see her, despite her living in the same village, as she's working FT and has younger kids. The other one - I think, in all honesty, the phrase 'she's just not that into you' applies here! We're very different personality types, but friends because of some shared interests/life views - she has shedloads of friends and a very busy social life, and I ... don't. I'm quite introverted at times and would like to spend more time hanging out with her, but I honestly don't think I factor that highly in her life. It's pathetic really - I'm in my 50's now and agonising about a 'best friend'. I think the whole BF thing is bollocks a lot of the time. Some of us have them, lots of us don't!

What to do about it - I think this is often down to personality type and attraction. Either you're someone who other people want to hang out with, or you're not.

I would also say that having a child with an intellectual or physical disability is VERY isolating and very distancing. People write you off, don't invite you to stuff because they don't want the hassle or think it would be tricky for you, and simply don't get it. It's bloody lonely being a SEN parent.

Hi op I def feel like you at times. Im 50s. I said to my friend last week be nice if people checked in on me the odd time other than hoping would I plan the next group catchup as nobody else does it!! The friendship dyanamic def changes maybe people just busier