Advice please

[kkxx]

My long term now ex partner of a week has flown to thailand in the day of our child's birthday party, the contact is minimum and i've discovered he has no intention of returning for over 6 weeks at the least. I am heartbroken myself but more so for our child/ren. (i have a son from a previous relationship) who he has also abandoned. As a mother going to work and continuing as normal is so hard and it's only been 7 days since he got his stuff and 5 since he flew out. He lied about going and where he was going until he was there ! Seeing his son so upset is heartbreaking too as he keeps asking where he is and he's had no contact for 10 days by his father's choice. He had asked to video call but what's the point ? I can't eat I can't sleep I can't even function. I'm sure if I flew to a tropical climate i'd not be feeling as bad and i'm sure he's fine !
This is the hardest time of my life. It's the no clarity and him just disappearing that the hardest part.
Before all this he would go out and disappear drinking all sorts and searching for 'services' on his phone he also is a narcissistic person. I know the end has been a long time coming but the way he's gone and has no responsibility is the hardest part.
I am from the UK.
Any advice or good words ?
Thanks.

Advice plzzzzz

Honestly, deep down you know you’re better off without him. Explain to the children that unfortunately some people have odd priorities, and that you can’t change people. Then go and enjoy the birthday, and the peace that being without him will bring. Enjoy time just being with your children.
They’ll realise who he really is eventually

Before all this he would go out and disappear drinking all sorts and searching for 'services' on his phone he also is a narcissistic person.

The way he's gone sounds like it fits perfectly with who you know him to be. Sounds like he's disappeared drinking and searching for services further afield.

Don't give any thought to what he's up to or if he's feeling fine in a tropical climate, you need to get your head down now and be as stable and calm as possible for the DC.

It's not fair, it will never be fair so stop hanging out for that to happen, waste of your time. It is happening, it's your reality, it's the DC reality, you need to behave like an air hostess on a flight when the turbulence kicks in, stay calm and keep handing out the snacks. If you need to break down, do it when they're out of the house, and get some help and support from friends and family.

Sounds like you'll be better off without him.

This is one of those situations where the saying that “the trash took itself out” sums it up perfectly.

Focus on making sure that you are not left high and dry financially. The rest will fall into place in due course.

He will continue to let your children down if he remains in their lives. He’s played his cards and shown himself to be who he is. Try to put him out if your thoughts and focus on yourself and your children.

A child abandoner who coerces sex out of prostituted women- ridding yourself of such trash is cause for celebration.

It will be hard for your son to deal with having such a specimen for a 'father' but therapy will help.

It's the no clarity and him just disappearing that the hardest part.
You can create clarity now and in future by telling him that it's over and he can't come back any more. That would also deal with the issue of him disappearing off - you won't be with him to witness that in future.
Give your son a hug, tell him daddy lives somewhere else now and you don't know when he's going to come to see him again but it's going to be a long time. Say it's not his fault that his dad behaved very badly by disappearing off on his birthday. Ask what nice things he'd like to do with you instead.

Op you have start putting your energy into the children here, your son birthday for one,
Your x has history so you need to stop thinking ' how could he' why has he' it's done and yes the children will be treated as your are, don't give him head space op,
Focus on you and children find your anger please, block him! He can piss off for 6 weeks you can block him and give him no time when he returns, sort out child support financially from him,

The how's and whys will drive you crazy and this is not good for you and children op, find your strength

His actions speak louder than his words

Put in an official claim for child maintenance

Put your energy into yourself & your children

Thank you everyone ! I have since learned he may stay there longer now, that he knew of his intentions days before as he booked the flights and accom then and he downloaded tinder the day after he arrived haaa ! I am definitely concentrating on my children as they mean the world to me ! I feel much better today as i've done no contact and got lots of nasty messages but stayed strong and not replied 🤪 the last one read 'tell (child's name) that you're the reason he won't see his dad for a long time' erm excuse me i'm sure that's his choice not mine ffs ! Thanks again anyway ladies it's good to have that validation off people i don't know which reassures me i am not crazy as i've been gaslit into thinking for so long x

Well done op stay strong don't engage in any msg with him, guessing your not going to block him,

He will stay as long has he can afford too, am sure you'll hear from him when hes out of money, op

Mean time you need to sort your finances out start to ball rolling, get anything he has in your home out, change the locks,

He still has power by sending the nasty txt msg just remember if you engage your allowing him this power,

Stay strong, be the better parent to your children,
Shame on him, he doesn't deserve them, nor do they need a dad like this who can just disappear with out explanation