A bit worried about our Daughter!

[Bulldog01]

Our Daughter is living with us at the moment.This morning she said, there's something on the bathroom floor.I naturally thought something yuk? Went to clean up! It was just some clear water that had ended up in floor from someone washing hands.I am a bit worried as I wondering if it's OCD? We are a clean family.Shower,hoover,wipe, disinfect, Refuse in bins,deep clean,but I am starting to struggle with our daughter who is getting picky about everything! It is taking its toil on what I think is normal family life! Has anyone on Mumsnet experienced this kind of behaviour? I am a bit worried! What are your thoughts?

Is your dd an adult? I’d be more concerned that she didn’t wipe the liquid herself and called you to do it rather than her not realising it was plain water.

How old is your daughter?

Daughter is 31.
I Think it's not normal? If it was a hazard, I could understand,or thought it was urine! But no it was clear water! She has no children, when I look back to when I was her age,I like all mums have had to clean up poo,blood,vomit without a second thought!

Ask her -
why didn’t u clear it ?
what were u afraid of ?

the reply will help understand the motive

It's definitely not normal for a 31 year old.

What concerns me though, is that your adult daughter is living at home by choice, but managing to dictate how everyone else is living.
Are you letting her?

Honestly, if my 6-year old came to me and said that there was something on the floor and it was just water, I'd have said 'you know where the tissues are'.
Why is it that you're jumping through hoops for an adult?

This. Why didn’t she just clean it up herself?

I totally agree with replies.Our daughter & partner are living with us temporarily untill they find something else! They lived in a rented flat for over 3 years, but it became too expensive. I like to live in harmony, hence why I cleaned it up! I am probably not helping? It's just when something is not right,I have this urge to make it right! My husband is not really emotionally there, so when I mentioned what our daughter had said, he just replied don't go on about it! I am feeling very alone, frustrated & unhappy. I feel like leaving the home & disappearing! Anyone relate?

It seems you have a larger problem than just your daughter.

You're going around trying to please everyone and making everyone happy.
But who is doing the same for you? From your last reply, it seems nobody is the answer to that question.

You have a spoiled adult daughter and a husband who doesn't care about your feelings at all. Why wouldn't you leave? What's keeping you there?

Your daughter is an adult and lived independently with her partner for 3 years - successfully I assume. Communal living can be stressful. I would encourage them to find a new place ASAP and in the meantime assert a few expectations around the main issues bothering you in your home.

My DBro is like this at my parents house, I think it stems from proving what a "grown up" he is, he has such high standards, now he can tell them off - it's insufferable tbh.

I wouldn't be worrying about her having OCD or anything, you have bigger issues and it sounds like she's just being a brat, rather than grateful she has a place to stay.

Thank you for your replies.Yes I agree, I think it's a lot to do with, they lived in a Modern flat, in leafy area,now they are living with us, in a Terraced house in not so nice area, we have decorated & made it a lot more homely,than when we first moved here.But I think they are not happy! Which is making me /husband feel uncomfortable.We are parents that do worry alot about our grown up children, although we have never spoilt them.I agree that they need there own space,so do we! Sadly grown up children are living with parents has become more common now than ever due to the energy & cost of living.We charge 450.00 a month for our daughter & partner who work from home,which does not really include food,but essentials.It helps us financially as I do not work as retired.Will received a state pension early next year.We just live on husband's state & small private pension.We would eventually like security for our daughter, & son who lives in Australia.But that's a pipe dream right now.

@Girlmom35 So all over some spilled water it has escalated to leave your husband ?
Get a grip.

I didn't actually tell her she needed to leave her husband.
I was following up on what SHE said, specifically that her husband is emotionally unavailable. She was the one who mentioned leaving:

"I am feeling very alone, frustrated & unhappy. I feel like leaving the home & disappearing!"

And I asked her what's keeping her there. A question intended to make her reflect on her situation. Not telling her that yes, walking out is the best and only solution.

Do you really think people come here and create a post about 'just' spilled water? People come here because the spilled water feels like the last straw, because they are at the end of their tether. It's never just about spilled water 🙄