Hello everyone I’ve been holding off on posting here for awhile now in fear that my partner might find out I have an account. We’ve been together 15 years and have two children ages 9 and 5. He was always quite gentle and understanding with the odd anger issue which I overlooked because in general he was a good partner and dad. The last 4 years he has changed dramatically. Recently he has been telling me I show too much skin, in dressing for men’s attention. He calls me derogatory names in front of the children. He has threatened to leave me if I don’t delete certain guys off my Facebook, mostly close family friends, even one being a distant cousin. So I deleted them. I did used to accept anyone and everyone, not to chat to them but just because I didn’t see Facebook as a totally personal thing. I uploaded a profile picture of myself which he made me delete because I looked like a “prostitute”. His words. I do not in any way look like a prostitute but he said the red lipstick was going to attract men to look at my profile. He has argued with friends I’ve made and told me I shouldn’t be friends with them. He told me if I go back to work, he might aswell leave me. He constantly speaks ill of my family. My 9 year old son tells me he is scared of his dad and that he is so mean. He says it’s better when daddy isn’t here. My partner works away so we only see him every fortnight when he comes home for the weekend. This has only been since the end of May. I have voice recordings of him threatening to leave me if I didn’t delete my Instagram account. I did delete it for him. He tells me I am playing games with him and has threatened to kill himself and leave it on my conscience. He told me yesterday he will leave me and never see or speak to me or the children again. I have told his mum I am worried about him as he has become unrecognisable. She just says he has difficulty regulating his emotions. I cannot cope with him anymore. I feel like he doesn’t even like me, let alone love me. I tell him he’s hurting me and he says things like “you’re playing with me, you’re acting like a victim, you’re a woman getting all up in your emotions”. He tells me I am listening to my family too much. He says I shouldn’t speak about what goes on at home, it should be kept “in house”. He once shoved me during an argument and when I mention this he screams at me “say that again and I will leave you”. He gets extremely angry to the point I am frightened sometimes. He has threatened to kill me one night, so I went to my brothers and he didn’t stop calling and texting, again threatening to kill himself. I had to call his mum because I was worried about him. He told me to stop telling his mum because she is worried about my mental state. I don’t know what he’s said to her about me but I have a feeling he’s told her I’m mentally ill or crazy. Once when we were arguing he followed me to the bathroom and I called him a woman beater, because I feel emotionally beater. He said “I’ll show you woman beater!” And raised his fist, at which point I called my then 8 year old son. He didn’t hit me but gave me the fear that he was going to. When I tell him I think he’s abusing me, he denies it or says I push him to act that way. He says men act in anger when they are upset, whereas women cry. I am 34 and I don’t need this stress in my life. I just wish I could make him see what he’s doing to our little family. He always promising this dream life, he wants to earn loads of money, buy property and land, give us a good life. I don’t feel safe with him. I really don’t wanna break up my family but I don’t know if I’ll ever get through to him. I love him, well I love how he used to be. He has changed so much and become such an angry man. Has anyone been through something similar? Is this abuse or am I overreacting? I really feel trapped.