Just this..
She's in her early 70s and riddled with poor health, dependent on her husband to a certain extent.
She's been on the domestic abuse radar of police since the early 2000s (shortly after they married). He had issues with drink and took to punching holes in doors and causing other damage at their house during frequent drunken rants.
She approached the police but refused any of their offers of help.
Instead she turned into a chronic depressive, like someone "trapped" in their own life. Treading on eggshells in her own home and so on.
Fast forward to around 2007 she came to live with me in my tiny studio flat at the time for about 3 months, to get away. Met him at weekends with the aim to "work on things". Eventually went back.
Around 3 years ago, she told me that she's been having counselling from a domestic abuse specialist affiliated with the police. The sessions were taking place at the local police station.
In the last 18 months to 2 years approximately, my mum has been totally eroded, ground down and has turned into the most hateful, racist bigot you could imagine. She seems to have turned into an extension of him. She was never racist or bigoted before. She raised my sibling and I to be the total opposite of racist and bigoted. We're both quite concerned about the deterioration and what she's been reduced to. He's been almost "force-feeding" her far right propaganda and has her believing that GB News is the only unbiased "news" channel. She's developed an irrational fear of Muslims, and is fixated on the belief that "they" are pushing for a vote to have Sharia law implemented in the UK and are pushing for "child marriage" to be allowed. Today she asked me whether I've heard this "news" and I honestly haven't... I asked for her source, she was unable or unwilling to provide one as I suspect she's knows it's just far-right propaganda and scare-mongering.
On a recent occasion, mum and I were out with my best friend and her mum. Whilst the 2 mums were talking, I overheard my mum trying to "convince" friend's mum of the "threats" faced from "them" (meaning Muslims). Friend's mum repeatedly tried to shut her down, repeatedly at least twice that she has no issue with Muslim and in fact has a good relationship with her Muslim neighbours. My mum just wasn't picking up on this lady's social cues when she was clearly shutting her down. My mum was trying to carry on the conversation, like a dog with a bone but my friend's mum (quite rightly) shut her down at the first sign of bigotry.
My mum acts dismissive whenever I raised the concerns that my sibling and I have. She said it's not our problem and its "her choice" to live in her marriage as it is. Refuses to acknowledge that she's being domestically abused and brainwashed. It's been ongoing since the early 2000s and there's very little left of her. No scruples, no integrity. Nothing. She'll agree with anything at home just to "keep the peace". When I challenge her husband she bitches at me about how I'm "causing an argument" or "making a scene". In fairness to her husband, he always apologises to me afterwards but mum seems more upset that I challenge her husband's rhetoric than the bile that he actually spouts.
She's clearly vulnerable but absolutely refuses to accept that she's being abused. She sarcastically rolled up her sleeve today and said "yeah sure I'm being abused, look at my bruises...". No bruises. She believes that abuse is physical and therefore if she isn't being hit or beaten then she's not being abused.
I sense others amongst her loved ones are frustrated with what she's being reduced to. Any advice?