Would you ever go there with a childhood friend?

[welcometotheblackparadee]

If you'd known someone since you were 12 & 14, and were now 35 & 37, always had a lot of affection for each other but in a platonic way and had recently started spending more time in person together recently, where you've notice a little change and some tension/light flirting, would you "go there" romantically/sexually?

Have you ever? Did it work out and you lived happily ever after or did it mess everything up?

Same 😂

@Dery I don't want to quote your whole post, but you've given me a lot of food for thought.

As I mentioned upthread, maybe this kind of exciting possibility happens for you a lot so it’s easy for you to walk away on this occasion. - honestly (and as arrogant as it sounds) there are plenty of options available should I choose to; just not interested in anyone else.

Maybe you’re avoidant and prefer the thought of romance to the reality. - embarrassingly, this could have a bit of truth to it. I've also got some major abandonment issues that both he and I are aware of. He's told me more than once while I've been crying over an ex that I deserve the world and someone who can and will treat me a certain way (he's not wrong and basically describes himself 😂)

Maybe you know some significant red flags which you prefer not to share but which mean he’s not such a promising prospective partner after all. - this is a genuine worry. He's no angel. At all. And obviously I know every bit of his past. Would I potentially worry that he would revert to type? Maybe? But I also know that he worships me and actually, I think he wouldn't.

I can only speculate as to why you’re looking for reasons not to do this. They’re obviously valid to you. To me, it looks like you’re planning to pass up the chance of something that could be fabulous in the interests of a currently okay status quo as friends, which will likely be lost if either of you settle down anyway. - Thank you for this. I think I'm going to take it slow. We've fallen into a pattern of seeing each other once a week/fortnight, around my childfree evenings. Definitely going to give it a go, if he's as open to it as it feels.

Yes, I was going through treatment for cancer and my long term partner left me whilst I was at the hospital having my chemo :( I got through that and to the end of my treatment, and 6 months later I walked into my local pub alone, for a quick drink whilst my takeaway was being cooked next door, My old friend from school was stood at the bar, we had been friends since we were 11 & always remained really close throughout the years, I had always had a secret crush on him, but either he was in a relationship, or I was, the timing was never right. Until that night :)

We got together almost 4 years ago on that night, after I stayed in the pub and had probably one more than I should have, and blurted out that I had always fancied him! His response was, that he had no idea, but had always felt the same.

We shared the takeaway warmed up for breakfast the next morning and the rest is history.

Both blissfully happy and i'm so grateful my ex left when he did.

45 years young the pair of us :)

We work so well because we know each other so well, Id say go for it, if the spark is there. best thing I ever did was call in for that lonely pint!

And to add to that, he fell in love with me (an me him) whilst I was still bald and very much in recovery, he adores me and would do anything to support me if I needed him to. I'm as healthy as I can be right now, but i know that if things ever did take a turn for the worse again, he would be there with me every step of the way.

Ahhh... I love that man of mine :)

I did. We had a child together. Ultimately it didn't work out.
We're both married to other partners now and we have what I would call the perfect co-parenting relationship. No animosity what so ever. If I'm honest we should have never gone there but we did. I don't regret it though.

@welcometotheblackparadee - sorry, I’ve only just seen your post. Thank you very much for responding so thoughtfully to mine. Taking it slowly sounds like the way to go. Wishing you lots of lovely times ahead!

Life is short, please go there! And come back to update us.

I was always smartly dressed with hair and make up on school drop off because I was also on my way to work so had no option. I was always bright and breezy to who ever I saw because a) I generally am and b) I was already in work frame of mind. If however for whatever reason I was not going to work, (can’t think why) I’d be in v casual with no make up. I hadn’t been up since 5 to work out and clean my skirting boards, I’d just been speedy.

I don’t have a village to help (just me) and later that day I’d be collecting from after school club looking decidedly less well pressed, but still cheerful! The tea would be sorted by me when we got back and def wouldn’t be freshly baked pies and cakes, but we all got thru happily enough.

there’s no secret solution and 1 wasn’t hiding in cupboards drinking cooking sherry - you just get by the only way you know how!

Not for me. I'd see them almost like a family member and I don't think those feelings could be reversed.