If you live abroad, how many times a year do you visit your parents ?

[Cabotine]

I’m in Uk and parents are in France, I haven’t been yet and I don’t think I’ll go this year. I want to prioritise an holiday with my own family and I don’t really want to see my parents as it’s complicated ! I still feel guilty for not going.

My parents are three hours away, we last went in 2018 and they haven't been here in 20 years.

I guess it's different as DH is overseas for work, but he sees his parents every 3-4 months. They fly out to see him as well. But, he has a very close relationship with his parents - they still talk every day on the phone - and he's their only child.

I don't think anyone can really give you any advice without knowing your circumstances and what your relationship is really like - family is difficult, and personal. Our experiences will only tell you what you already know - some people are incredibly close to their families, and some are not. And either is okay. Not every family is the same 😊

My partner is Bulgarian and we go to see his family every summer for 2-4 weeks. They never come here.

Evreyone is different so it's ridiculous to think you'll get a consensus. I think if you don't get on with your family, then it's not weird that you're not rushing to see them. if my Dad lived in France, I'd be there at least a couple of times a year because it's easy. But DH has a niece in France and BIL has visited twice and she's visited her twice. In 5 years. I have siblings in Europe and we all make an effort to travel so that we see each other at least once a year.

Basically, it varies massively by family dynamic, finances, practicalities etc.

I go to see my family 2/3 times a year and my mum comes here a couple of times a year. So quite often really

I'm in the UK and my family are in Ireland. I visit twice a year and like you OP, it's complicated! None of them have visited here for the past 12 years

I hear you about the guilt. My parents are not at all supportive of my choice to live here, and they act like I live on the moon. I don't enjoy seeing them but don't want to cut them out either. Twice a year feels like plenty with them, although I have a niece and nephew who I wish I could see far more often. So yeah, complicated!

Family is long haul / 2 flights away. We try every 2 years. Old parent won't now fly to us.
The challenge is time and money, limited leave from work, school holidays. Southern hemisphere during our summer holiday is rubbish. Christmas visits are so expensive now.

3 times a year. Around Easter, summer and around New Year. They can't come due to age/health issues. I speak with them every day.

I went back for Easter, in the summer, and for Christmas. It was a short flight.

Same here.

When we lived abroad (close European country) we paid for DM or DPIL to fly out to us every 6 weeks so each was visiting every 12 weeks.

The view we took was that we were the ones who had moved so we should be covering the flight costs.

We went back to UK once a year. We didn't go back more frequently because as a family of 5 we just didn't fit into anyone's hone.

My family is in the US. We are NC now, but used to be close (prior to incident that led to estrangement).

I personally visited twice in about 10 years, once alone, once as a family. Too expensive and too much time for a young family. But my mum (and sometimes stepdad) used to visit us about 3 times a year, because they are wealthy and retired, so it was easy for them to do.

France is a pretty easy weekend trip though and I would probably pop over at least once a year.

Once a year here. I wish it was more but they used to visit us but are now too elderly to travel. Yes, I feel guilty.

France is a pretty easy weekend trip though and I would probably pop over at least once a year.
Depends on where in France and where in the UK. Travel is always an expense.

Opposite situation here as it was my parents who moved away/retired abroad.

I visit once per year and they come back here twice. Judging by this thread, that's probably standard for these circumstances but I still feel very guilty - plus I get other family members constantly expressing shock that I don't go over there more frequently. I'd like to go twice but finances and annual leave allowances don't currently permit that.

I live in East Africa.
My sister lives in Asia.
My mum is dead.
My Dad, brothers, nieces and nephews live in the UK.

We are currently in the UK.
We were last here Christmas 2023 and Dad came back with us for a visit.
We are probably here every 18 months. My daughter’s Dad is In another country and she is off to university elsewhere so it gets quite complicated.

My parent is in the UK but 5+ hours of travel, so further away than many places in France.

I aim to go there twice a year, which I think is about right, using a combination of family and solo trips. They no longer travel.

Twice a year
they are in Canada

I've been living abroad for 15 years now. I go to my home country 1-2 times in a year for 2-5 weeks and I stay with mom. It's more expensive though now with the kids esp. the last 2-3 years.

We visit about 3-4 times a year and they do likewise. Also UK-France.

It’s exactly that ! I don’t enjoy seeing them, I can’t relax and when I see them they expect me to get up early then go to bed late because they want to watch a film do the day last 15 hours without break. They also beaker a lot.

DH's parents are in mainland Northern Europe and still active. We see them once or twice a year (each side taking it in terms to travel).

My parents are in England (4 - 5 hour drive and en route to my in-laws. Literally. They're on the Kent coast) and we see them less - once a year at most. They never travel to us despite being retired (well, my father and his partner. Mum still working and has limited AL so I let that go); it's always us that travel. Frustrating but I've had to accept it. It was me that chose to move away so arguably it should be me that travels...

@Cabotine ‘beaker a lot’ ? Drink? New phrase to me!

i visit my mum several times a year. Every other month or so.

But i seem to be a rarity on MN in that i love my mum and like spending time with her.

They bicker a lot is what I meant !