Is this normal for men to act this way

[DenimGoose]

So me (25) and my BF (27) have been living together since january, We plan on trying for a baby next year but lately I have noticed that I have a tummy pooch. I think I have put on a bit of weight recently although I have a petite figure but my BF seems to find my tummy pooch "Sexy"?

He has admitted to me that he finds pregnant women and post pregnancy bodies attractive but he is always putting his hands on my tummy pretending that im pregnant. He also says that he cant wait to get me pregnant and that its a big turn on for him.

I feel a bit insecure about putting on weight especially since my BF is very athletic and works out a lot. I mentioned this to him the other day about me being a bit insecure about my body in which he said that my natural figure is sexy and womanly. We were also watching love island and he was all like "none of these women are even attractive and they all look like transgenders, they need proper natural women on there like yourself"

But is it normal for men to be turned on by pregnant women or the idea of impregnating a woman?

No, not normal at all. However i would be concerned about him getting you pregnant and "trapping" you as he seems very focused on the act of getting/being pregnant rather than becoming a father to a baby.

Sounds a bit weird to me OP

It sounds like he likes the idea of you pregnant and bare foot in the kitchen rather than the baby that comes at the end of it.

Why the rush to be having a baby anyway? You have plenty of time.

ummm sounds like he's oversharing and not putting a filter on his personal thoughts (which can be okay).
it's not unusual for people to find curvy bodies attractive.
and it's not unusual for couples in love to rant and rave about getting pregnant/being pregnant etc.

Tell him you insist on marriage before you have a baby.
And stick to it.

Why would you have a baby before marriage. That puts you at a disadvantage from the get go. Marriage then baby, or say no deal. Don’t let him talk you into anything else. You have you and your baby to take care of. Don’t let him mooch along and have no responsibilities. I’d say no way until he marrys you. The honeymoon period doesn’t last forever.

not a thing you wrote about what your bf says to you is offensive but actually it is rather flattering.
it seems like you are insecure and are trying to warp his compliments to you into derogatory comments when they are in fact the opposite.
love yourself OP.

And of course it’s normal for a man to be turned on by the thought of impregnating his girlfriend that’s how they do it in the first place isn’t it. I think you should be worried if he isn’t excited at the thought of impregnating you.

He sounds like he has a weird fetish.

You are paying far too much attention to what another person thinks of your body.

An impregnation (or breeding, to be a bit more crass) kink is a thing that exists and is not as appalling, unheard of or terrifying as the Mumsnet missionary brigade would have you believe (and yes, women can and do have this kink). It's up to you to decide whether you're comfortable with it or not. I would suggest talking to him to get an idea what exactly it is he means. He might have a kink, or he might just be extremely clumsily trying to tell you he still finds you sexy even though you've gained weight and will still find you sexy pregnant and post partum. If you're willing to let the man put a baby in you, you ought to be able to have a frank discussion about things like this.

The only thing I might actually be wary of here is him tearing other women down and being misogynistic towards them to compliment you. That speaks of a man who doesn't actually respect women and just pays lip service to the one who is letting him shag her. Only you know what kind of man he actually is so just apply some critical thinking. Does he often mock the bodies of women who aren't you?

I was stick thin when first met hubby but he prefers me now body wise more cuddly but that's after several kids aswell haha..Funny enough we watched love island last year and after 3 episodes hubby was like I'm off to game because he also thought they were unattractive and not normal looking. All my gym mad brothers met and married size 16-18 women and are very happy. It doesn't matter who or how you love..He loves you as you are

But is it normal for men to be turned on by pregnant women or the idea of impregnating a woman?

It doesn't matter if it's normal. It only matters how you feel about it. It clearly bothers you to the extent that you posted on here, which suggests it makes you somewhat uncomfortable, or you feel unsure about him. Listen to that feeling. If he has a kink/fetish it will not get better. You have every right to not be into it - him having a turn on does not ever override you being uncomfortable about it.

As others have said, think very carefully about having a child and not being married. It puts you in a vulnerable position, and there's a chance that's where he wants you.

How would he react if you suggested waiting longer? How would he react if you said you only wanted one child? If you don't want sex in late stage pregnancy? If you insist on marriage before children? You might find the answer in considering those things.

Sounds odd. I would be worried he only wanted a baby, just to play into his pregnancy/mum kink.

Also don't have a baby with someone, until you're married.

It's great he loves you for you. Normal for men to love squishy bits. Don't start trying for a baby until after you are married. If he wants one that much he will also want to protect it and you. Marriage matters. It's not about how much he loves you. It's about getting the legal protection for you and your baby.

That's all fine as long as he realises there will be a baby at the end of it and is excited about that too! I'd be worried he's focusing too much on "getting you pregnant" and not really thinking whether he's ready to be a father.

Not normal no, but it is a kink some men have. It's super gross and I wouldn't be entertaining it. How long have you been together? Does he have a realistic idea of what raising a baby will be like or is he getting carried away with the fantasy?

How long have you been together, I prefer to give relationships at least 5 years before babies and living together, you need to know them really well.

I used to work with a man who found pregnant bodies sexy. He wasn't in any other way a lech or pervy, but he was weird around pregnant women. Which means he was thrilled when his wife was pregnant, but also found random pregnant women in the street sexy, and would comment. It was weird, and I felt for his wife.

It was the pregnancy he found more attractive, not his wife.

It doesn't sound remotely like your bf wants a baby / wants to be a dad. He wants you to be pregnant. Well, between knowing you're pregnant and having the baby it's a few short months. Then the hard work starts. Does he also get excited about losing sleep at nights, having less money, not being able to socialise as much, him not being the centre of your attention for the next couple of decades, having a small person dictate your every day?

Because if he's fantatcising about you being pregnant and not about being a dad, then please don't get pregnant.

He sounds like he has a pregnancy fetish and / or he likes the idea of you being dependent on him, and stuck at home while he's out and about being the big man who got someone pregnant.

I would be seriously worried about having any children with him. Not sure I'd want to stay with him TBH. And certainly don't have any children without being married first, if there is any chance of you losing income / pension / earning potential while pregnant or parenting.

Yes this. He sounds disturbing.

I think this is pretty normal, actually. My DH and I have said before that we wish we had had children together, and my DH has said he would have been excited to have got me pregnant. It would be very bonding. We decided not to do it, because when we met we were mid 30's, and I already had two kids who were 11 & 9 at the time. But we absolutely do wish we had met earlier, and had made a baby together.

I have to agree with other posters though, that you should get married first. When you get pregnant, chances are that you will go part time at work, which impacts your salary and your pension. With the security of marriage you are protected financially by law, should your relationship ever break down. Far too many women find themselves trapped because they had kids without marriage.