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Original poster

Tiny silly dating rant

37 replies

Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 15:41

Been messaging a few men on the apps and just wanted to have a mini rant.

I was planning to meet one of them for a drink, and he said he could only do Friday or Sunday, as he plays sport all day every Saturday, so we settled on meeting on Friday.

During the day on Friday, we were pinning down when and where to meet that evening. I told him I finished work at 6, to which he then said we could meet at 7. He then said he has other plans later, so we’d only be able to meet for an hour, which is fine, but I asked if he wanted to rearrange.

He’s now messaged again today, saying he’s got a few things ‘lined up’ this week, so he’ll need to ‘get back to me’ and pin down’ when to meet.

I feel irritated, as I feel like I’ve done quite a bit of compromise in terms of meeting him halfway on when to meet, but he hasn’t.

I know we haven’t yet met, and it’s such a ridiculously small thing in the grand scheme of things, but it makes me feel like I’m a work client or a task to tick off on his to-do list and makes me not want to meet.

I know the right answer is just to ignore him and move on. I’m so tempted to write a snarky message back though. I shouldn’t though, should I…

OP posts:
Flowers73752 · 06/07/2025 15:44

Unmatch. He has no intention on meeting

GrumpyInsomniac · 06/07/2025 15:46

He sounds like he wants you to feel like he’s some kind of prize and establish himself as a “high value male”.

Chuck him back. He’s a waste of bandwidth.

333FionaG · 06/07/2025 15:48

Move on. He sounds very self important. There are better men out there.

TwistedWonder · 06/07/2025 15:48

He’s a time waster - unmatch and delete.

Thaawtsom · 06/07/2025 15:50

he's not for you. throw him back.

CortadoPlease · 06/07/2025 15:52

Why didn’t you just meet him on Friday for an hour? It’s only a first meet - you might not even like him irl.

Original poster
Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 15:53

Thanks! Agree with you all. Should I reply with a snotty message for some fleeting self-satisfaction? Or should I just leave it? I’m so tempted by option 1, but feel like I should just go with option 2.

OP posts:
Thaawtsom · 06/07/2025 15:55

Always the higher ground. No need to be snotty. Write it out somewhere if you want to but don't send. Just bow out with grace.

Original poster
Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 15:56

CortadoPlease · 06/07/2025 15:52

Why didn’t you just meet him on Friday for an hour? It’s only a first meet - you might not even like him irl.

Because I thought I’d ask him if he wanted to rearrange, to show willing and to compromise. He then agreed to reschedule, saying he didn’t think it was fair for me to travel just to meet for an hour. Although I wouldn’t really have minded - I liked the idea of having a quick drink as a first meeting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 15:57

Thaawtsom · 06/07/2025 15:55

Always the higher ground. No need to be snotty. Write it out somewhere if you want to but don't send. Just bow out with grace.

Thanks, I agree that is the best option. Should I say anything at all? Or just leave it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 15:58

Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 15:56

Because I thought I’d ask him if he wanted to rearrange, to show willing and to compromise. He then agreed to reschedule, saying he didn’t think it was fair for me to travel just to meet for an hour. Although I wouldn’t really have minded - I liked the idea of having a quick drink as a first meeting.

Show quote history

Just to add, we both live in the same city, and would’ve probably travelled a similar distance to meet (about 25 mins or so, so not too far).

OP posts:
Thaawtsom · 06/07/2025 16:02

If it were me, I would just leave it I'd be surprised if he got back to you to be honest; and if he did I would say something along the lines of "oh, I can't then, I have other plans: it's made me realise we both have busy complicated lives and I am looking for someone more local / whatever thing you want to say. It's been fun chatting good luck out there" or similar.

Tollington · 06/07/2025 16:02

He sounds like a PITA

AnotherGreyMorning · 06/07/2025 16:02

Sounds like really hard work already. Just disappear.

Freeflight · 06/07/2025 16:06

See I like to respond and say I'm out as I hate it when someone just stops talking so will treat people the way I'd want to be.
If I thought he was really attractive (and depending what I was looking for) I'd continue to chat, but be investing elsewhere too. Then if it becomes a meet it does, if it doesn't then also fine.
If you are looking for a relationship then I'd definitely say he isn't the type from his behaviour. So if that means you aren't interested then I'd be putting something along the lines of "Its been nice chatting and I'd have loved to meet to see if there was chemistry, but I'm looking for regular dates and someone who has time and space for me, which it feels you don't. So I think it's best to leave it there."

TwistedWonder · 06/07/2025 16:09

Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 15:53

Thanks! Agree with you all. Should I reply with a snotty message for some fleeting self-satisfaction? Or should I just leave it? I’m so tempted by option 1, but feel like I should just go with option 2.

Just leave it. Sending a sarky message is a waste of time he won’t care.

Tbh it sounds like he’s juggling other dates away and can barely man’s time so in your shoes I’d just unmatch

Bonbonthechewyone · 06/07/2025 16:10

I'd honestly just leave it, don't feed his ego

PepsiMaxCherryAddict · 06/07/2025 16:22

Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 15:53

Thanks! Agree with you all. Should I reply with a snotty message for some fleeting self-satisfaction? Or should I just leave it? I’m so tempted by option 1, but feel like I should just go with option 2.

Just say, ‘’I get that you’re busy but all this uncertainty isn’t working for me so I don’t think this will work out. Take care and good luck with your search x’’ Quite neutral and polite but lets him know you’re a bit pissed off

Original poster
Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 16:30

PepsiMaxCherryAddict · 06/07/2025 16:22

Just say, ‘’I get that you’re busy but all this uncertainty isn’t working for me so I don’t think this will work out. Take care and good luck with your search x’’ Quite neutral and polite but lets him know you’re a bit pissed off

Show quote history

Thanks. I just said something along the lines of ’don’t worry - sounds like it’ll be hard to sort something out, with you having lots on’. It is maybe a smidge passive aggressive, but I wanted to let him know I was annoyed but still keep it relatively polite.

I just had a look back through his photos, and still think he’s very bloody good looking, which is a shame!

But there are plenty more fish in the sea, and looks aren’t everything!

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 06/07/2025 17:35

Look on the bright side Op, he may have done you a favour. If he's too busy playing sport all weekend or going out with his mates in the evening then he's not offering you much

Original poster
Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 17:44

Daleksatemyshed · 06/07/2025 17:35

Look on the bright side Op, he may have done you a favour. If he's too busy playing sport all weekend or going out with his mates in the evening then he's not offering you much

You’re absolutely right - I was thinking the same. I just feel irritated at his behaviour. I know it’s far from the first or last time I’ll get that behaviour on an app or in a relationship, but it really rubbed me up the wrong way. He just comes across as selfish and presumptuous.

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 06/07/2025 18:13

You could have spent the next few weeks waiting for him to find you an hour in his packed schedule, or worse still, he could have invited you to stand on the touchlines and watch him play football. You have had a lucky escape 😂

Original poster
Fandango52 · 06/07/2025 18:16

Daleksatemyshed · 06/07/2025 18:13

You could have spent the next few weeks waiting for him to find you an hour in his packed schedule, or worse still, he could have invited you to stand on the touchlines and watch him play football. You have had a lucky escape 😂

😂😂 I agree I’ve had a lucky escape haha.

I actually wouldn’t have minded watching him play football. Sadly the sport involved is cricket 😭 too right I would’ve been waiting for months for a gap in his schedule - he’s probably still playing yesterday’s match now!

OP posts:
Lovelynames123 · 06/07/2025 18:25

Argh, OD is awful, I'm just giving it another shot and you need boundaries of steel! I just arranged to meet someone next week then saw him on Are We Dating The Same Guy, serial cheat and semi stalker so back to the drawing board!

I'm busy, I work and have my dc 50/50 so I know realistically I'm not going to have the time to date someone from any distance away, I set my parameters at 10 miles max. When I chat with someone I want to meet them ASAP as what a waste if no chemistry, if they flake on me, unmatch.

You need to be brutal, so many men, do many dickheads, it takes a lot of sorting thru!

legolegoeverywhereandnotadroptodrink · 06/07/2025 18:27

He’s dating multiple women. 💯