I'm losing everyone and I think it's my fault

[bigfatdoormat]

I'm not sure where to start with this. I'm not a very popular person I've got people I meet for coffee etc but usually at my instigation.
My proper people were my husband my sister and my daughter.
My sister has a partner who does not like me or my husband but for a long time we pretended all was ok . But as he made quite a few unpleasant comments and zero invites to us including a big birthday he recently had things have gone downhill. It would take too long to document all the stuff he has done and it's also quite subtle but my sister seems to revere him. Perhaps I'm jealous at being usurped???
My sister is a very charismatic and charming person who people are drawn to. Obviously she puts her partner first which is totally understandable but she's been contacting my few friends trying to arrange meet ups with them which I feel very upset about. They have also found it rather strange.
She refuses to discuss any of the issues - think she employs the grey rock technique so perhaps I'm just a hideous narcissist and to be clear I'm prepared to believe I am.
My daughter has a lovely new baby so entirely understandably she is focused on her own husband and child. But I miss her.
My husband is very angry and depressed ( I think) our social life really did revolve around my sister and my daughter and her husband and this has really disintegrated. He says he doesn't blame me for the rift with my sister but really he does
He works full time and is always saying he cannot sleep so today he slept on the daytime fur at least three hours I had to take my elderly father out this morning to an appointment so effectively we had no time together at all.
He's become very right wing and rants on about the labour party etc . This evening when he eventually woke up he began a political rant and I asked if we could have a night off . Now he's in a huff in another room
I feel so lonely and feel I'm bringing it all on myself. My sister keeps texting about meeting up but I know she's been arranging lots of things that I would have been invited to so I just feel hurt and angry . Plus when I do meet her she's totally fake . Woukd take so long to document everything.
But I feel I'm causing myself all kinds of problems. Am I a horror show? What should I do?

What other outlets do you have? Do either of you work have hobbies?
Why do you need to wait for your sister to be the instigator for anything social? It.can be exhausting being someone else's social conveyor!

I was just about to type very similar to @CaptainFuture

Why are you relying on your sister to be your social life?
Where are your own friends?
What other people do you mix with ?
What do you do with your time ?

Why do you think you're unpopular? Have you had any feedback on your behaviour?

Anger is part of depression and your husband isn't sleeping properly so he's probably exhausted. However, you're not his punch bag and he needs to find a way of dealing with his feelings.

It sounds like he spends a lot of time online and that's spilling over and you're right to assert a boundary and ask him to stop.

Yes I think I'm not very likeable to be honest. I've read all the threads on here about friends and I think I'm not good friendship material. I have really relied on my sister and we did loads of stuff together holidays etc we've even got some shared property together.
I do have friends not that many plus they are my friends we don't have couple friends really
I honestly don't know what I'm trying to get from this just a safe space to vent

So do you and dh work? What does your world look like?

My husband works full time but he had a very prestigious job and for reasons I am not entirely sure about he is feeling very pushed aside. To be honest the organisation he works fir is in a lot of trouble so I don't think it's anything he's done but he clearly does feel pushed aside and humiliated but he's taken a long time to admit to that,
I retired last year and am doing a lot of stuff for my dad who's 95 and needs a lot of support plus now two days a week child care.