I have been with my husband for 30 odd years. There’s many good things about him, kind, good around the house, fun, says he adores me, great with the kids (who are almost grown now).
I fantasise about ending it but something always stops me.
Has anyone been where I am and regretted not leaving? Or been glad they stayed?
Here’s my situation-,
There’s much I am increasingly resentful about.
Repeated cycles of debt
Relies on me to be the breadwinner
lack of initiative, would never suggest a holiday or a meal out for example.
Different levels of ambition and drive (I have lots, he has very little)
I read something about intelligent women never give up and that’s why you often see them sticking with not so optimal relationships. I often wonder if that is happening to me. I am so resentful and miserable but can’t end the marriage.
Im not sure if it’s because I’m scared, I don’t have the energy or I’m worried it’s a huge mistake.
Relationship counselling would help but because it would only happen if I sorted it, it’s another thing for me to be resentful about.
Things are coming to a head as I have a big birthday next month and I have proactively arranged my own gifts and trips to mitigate the disappointment I know is coming when he does nothing.
Anyone else been here? Things aren't shit but they are not anmazing. I want an equal partner. Any advice to move forward? For a woman with a lot of drive I lack it completely when it comes to sorting my marriage.