Feel stuck - what do I do?

[amanda57]

I’ve been with my husband for 27 years. It’s been an uphill struggle from day dot. I feel so stuck. There’s always an issue. Money. He drinks too much. Everyone loves him and thinks he is wonderful and charming but at home he is a nightmare. He bullshits about everything. Whatever he says is going to happen re money, work or anything else never happens. I end up dealing with the fall outs. I’m tired of living this way. I’ve got 3 children. Two daughters who have flown the nest and a son who is 17 still at home. I’ve had enough. I don’t like him. He doesn’t like me. I feel I have no choice but to stay. We rent. There are no assets. I don’t work and haven’t for a while. I’ve lost my confidence. There is no money. How can I leave? I feel so stuck, sad and is if I’m just watching my life disappear in front of me. If there was a house to sell, I would have been long gone. What do I do? Looking for some divine inspiration.

I would find yourself a job. Any job, if you want to get rid of him that much, it will be your route out. It'll give you more money, and more confidence.

Agree 100%. Make a new life. Fill it. Enjoy it.

Why the heck have you been with him for 27 years if you didn’t like him from the start, yet had 3 children with him?!!

just leave him, better for all concerned.

Basic job with universal credit top up - rent somewhere peaceful, just for you

Step 1, get a job.
Then you can make plans to leave. 💐

Can you talk to your Doctor about how you feel?

If you applied to get Universal Credit you could have a good talk about getting back into work.
Can you see you and your son getting a place together?

I think the first step is the Doctor to talk about how overwhelmed you feel.
Could you start with one thing @amanda57 ?

I’ve literally just posted something v similar, the only difference is I do have the money to go alone yet still don’t. What you said about being stuck really resonates with me. I’m sorry it’s so shit.

God, I could have written this. It sucks. I hope you manage to find a way out. I haven't and every single day is hell. Good luck

Sounds easy. But when you have no money, it’s not easy.

I’ve been trying. Either overqualified or not qualified enough. Apply to so many and it’s always a no.

It’s never that easy. Three kids. No money. I fell in love with him. But being with him was never easy for lots of reasons.

I’m not depressed. I don’t feel the need to see the doctor.

Honestly do it. If I had the money, I would be gone. I would have left long ago. It’s not about being brave, because I would leave, it just seems an impossible task, without no help or ability to do so.

I’m so sorry you are going through it too.

I took redundancy from a management job a few years ago and went to work part time in Waitrose. And I actually enjoyed it (in a kind of numb brained way 😂). Almost doesn’t matter what you do- if you’re with people, you’re busy, there’s a few pennies rolling in….
Just keep trying!

I said this to a friend the other day. I think I need to just apply to anything and everything, even though I’m skilled just to do something.

So what’s really stopping you? I still remember after I left my dead marriage, my sister saying ‘the only thing I’m surprised about is that you were brave enough to go’.
So be brave. Think about yourself, put yourself first.