I’ve come here to tell my story and ask for advise because I’m at my wits end with this situation. Please don’t judge me too harshly, because I’m actually very worried and scared….I have this ex boyfriend (I’ll call him Jay) from many years ago, and I’m talking 20 odd years when I was 16… he was an awful bully who had another girlfriend at the time and was very cruel to me, didn’t like me talking to other boys or wearing makeup and always accused me of cheating….. I was very young and naive, and even though he had a girlfriend I see it as I was special to him and he would give me promises that his girlfriend was nuts so couldn’t leave her at the time…. (Yea I know, pathetic right?) but I was young, stupid, naive and vulnerable as I came from a volatile family and I thought he loved me….. I eventually broke away from him, I moved away, met my now husband and we had 2 children, life was good, my career in acting which was a life long dream was picking up and I put that experience with Jay behind me….a few years later, I ended up going to a concert one night and I bumped into Jay! And from that moment on, he has never left me alone…. Calling me, texting me, emailing me….I felt like that vulnerable 16 year old again…. So I responded to one of his emails and like a fool, I fell for his crap like I did as a young teen and we started talking, things with me and my husband were awful at the time so I guess when I think back to it I just needed someone to talk to as I had no close friendships that I could trust and I guess Jay was a familiarity, it sounds pathetic I know…. Jay confided in me and said he was in the same boat with his misses, said they wasnt in love and just stayed together for the children etc… he apologised for how he treated me, said he was young and stupid and had a lot going on hense why he was so mean, and all that stuff, he had a girlfriend and 3 children at this time…. But he reeled me in and made me believe that my husband didn’t love me, that no one would ever love me the way he did… me and my husband ended up splitting up and after a while as things were awful between us and I agreed to meet Jay…. We ended up sleeping together and he promised to leave his misses and be with me and do things properly because I was his biggest regret….. I think back to this and realise how much of a fool I was!! One day, a friend of mine who knew about Jay, who was also friends with his girlfriend, showed me a picture on her socials of them both very close, very cosy and saying how much he loved this woman….. well that made my heart sink, and I ended things with him and the guilt I felt on this woman, I wanted to tell her but the thought of his children going through hell stopped me….so I carried on with life, he would constantly text me and email me and I’d ignore them…. A year or so after me and my now husband, rekindled and we got back together and he proposed, I thought if I was going to marry him I needed to tell him the truth, I told him everything about Jay during our split, what he had done when I was a kid and then afterwards…. My husband surprisingly was very understanding…. We got married and life was amazing….. but Jay would not leave me alone…. Constantly calling, texting, trolling my social media’s, being extremely derogatory towards me and my career choice, insulting my husband on how he looks, my children, and all the while he’s doing this behind his girlfriends back and his children’s back playing the doting loyal man, his girlfriend had no clue about any of it!… I blocked Jay on everything and he resorted to emailing me…. I stupidly responded to his abuse because I was so angry, and he would go from insults to trying to coerce me back into the situation feeding me rubbish about us meant to be together, he really thought I was stupid, he tried to make me feel jealousy with his misses sending me pictures of them saying stuff like “this will never be you, you were just a sh**” he was very vulgar and disgusting…. I’d ignore it and then he would change to talking about me sexually being so misogynistic it was disgusting…. I’d kept this to myself but eventually I was so stressed about this that I told my husband, my husband then got in contact with him and warned him that if he carries on then his girlfriend will know everything….. but it’s not made a difference…. He continues to harass me via email and different numbers and his girlfriend has no clue about it….. I’m at my wits end and it’s making me ill…. I’ve threatened to tell his misses and then he threatens me with exposing intimate pictures we took and messages about my political jokes that society wouldn’t like and it would ruin me to my acting agent saying he will destroy me and my character if I ever tell his misses or the police… I want to report him to the police and tell his girlfriend what kind of a man he is because he has been making my life hell since I was 16…. I’m 37 now and he just won’t leave me alone where I’m starting to feel scared…. What should I do? How can I make him stop?