POF - Your thoughts please...?

[DonutKnow]

Hi,
So this is an odd one, I guess. I know there is really no way of knowing the answer to this AND I know I probably sound like a right stalker weirdo but I'm not, honest.
So a couple of months ago I was chatting to this really nice chap on POF. He seemed really genuine, stable, honest etc We got on really well. But I freaked out a little as I don't think I was ready to date at that point. So I told him I'd really enjoyed our chats and I explained this to him. He said it was a shame but he understood. He said to contact him again if I came back. We said goodbye and I came off POF.
Fastforward to now and I went back on and I found him and messaged him. I was quite shocked to see he hadn't been snapped up already to be honest! So, I when I messaged him, he'd been online the night before. This was two weeks ago and he still hasn't been onlne since then so wouldn't have read my message.
So what does this stalker girl do - she emails his work. Send a nice friendly/breezy email. And nothing. But then I did say I'd understand if he didn't respond.
That's not it, there's more.....so me being the numpty that I am, I had a few drinks the other day and decided a Whatsapp message would be good (his number is on his website). Message was delivered (two grey ticks) but not read (unless he has the blue read thing switched off). It doesn't say on there when he was last online.

I can't stop thinking about him and I am SO annoyed that I didn't just stick with it back when we were chatting. We got on so well and he was keen.

Do you think it's weird that he didn't even reply to email? He is honestly such a lovely guy that I think even if he'd started dating, he would have told me? He did tell me to get back in contact?

Just any thoughts, please fling them this way as I need to move on but finding it hard! And yes, I know I look like a weirdo now :(

Just take a step back and resist further contact. It wasn’t the right time before and perhaps now it isn’t either. If it’s fated it will happen without all this effort. Enjoy looking around now that you do find yourself ready as it’s highly unlikely the first foray into dating will be with Mr Right.

You are making a fool of yourself @DonutKnow.
No one l know likes being chased in this manner.

Honestly if a man posted this, then almost every response would be delete block and think about reporting him.

Leave the guy alone. You’ve already crossed the line and coming across as a huge red flag. If he was interested he’d have replied - take the hint and stop now.

Thanks all!

You seriously need to stop this. It’s very simple. If he wanted to talk with you he would. You chasing him like a stalker is crazy.

Be careful he doesn’t prosecute you for stalking, you are crossing lines here. Step back.

He may well have been snapped up, hence why he hasn’t been online since. I made a profile on a couple of dating sites but never engaged but I probably didn’t bother to delete the profile so may will still be on there somewhere.

@DonutKnow seems as though you like the thrill of the chase .
His work then a number he never gave you ?
He will think your mad “oh I’m not ready” then contacting him on every avenue possible .

More like you don’t like rejection than liking the guy .

For future reference as well as the pp advice that your behaviour is totally inappropriate, you absolutely do not know if someone you have spoken to online dating is ‘really lovely’.
Online dating can be an absolute pit of love bombing, cat fishing, misogynistic, damaged or dangerous people that are very well practiced and clever at charming people with initial chat, you really need to educate yourself and be wise to this or you are likely to get hurt.

Thanks everyone!

@Imbusytodaysorry An email and a Whatsapp isn't quite every avenue possible now, is it. And I really can take rejection, that's life.

So to be clear - he asked me to contact him if I decided to get back in to the dating game. As he'd not been on POF for a while I wondered if he'd got annoyed with the app and deleted it. Hence why I contact him elsewhere.

But thanks all for the input - duly noted 🤗It's why I came on here, to get a talking to, and to give my head a wobble.

Thanks, yeah I know having met my ex online and him being abusive. I am never rushing in to anything ever again and definitely have my eyes wide open.

But apparently, I am the dangerous one.

If you leave it now and don’t try to contact him I don’t think it’s that bad on your part as he did say contact him but then again when he said it he didn’t give you his number. Good luck and I’m sorry to hear about your ex I have been there too.

Leave him be. Get a hobby.
Take a look at Lalalaletmeexplain on Instagram. She's great at this sort of thing.

https://www.instagram.com/lalalaletmeexplain?igsh=ZXhlY2NmOTd1enV2

This in droves!!

As a man, if I was in his situation, I’d do exactly the same. Actually, I might send a polite message of thanks but no thanks, but I wouldn’t be interested in reconnecting with someone who had previously ended communication.

You chatted for a bit and he was nice to you and you’ve taken it and ran with it and created a drama and pursued him in an undignified and completely inappropriate manner.

You are a massive red flag! A woman that joins a dating site but then after wasting his time, tells him she doesn’t want to go on dates and drops him.

Then randomly out of the blue starts pestering him.

Never contact him again and work on improving your social skills.

Stop stalking! You missed your chance. Chalk it up to experience and go elsewhere.

You emailed him at work? He probably thinks you're a crank 😳

You emailed a stranger’s place of work?? Had you even met him in person? OP, that is really, really not normal, and your obsession and fixation on him isn’t healthy.

I’d get therapy or at least read a few books to understand why you’re behaving this way. You’re fixating on a fantasy version of him because you couldn’t live out a real life relationship, not because he’s the man of your dreams.

Even if he comes back online soon, he’s not going to want to engage with you. You’re being creepy.

You emailed his WORK? How could you think that was ok? Good grief