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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Nitpicking partner

29 replies

InterestedBeing · 04/07/2025 14:40

How to cope with this?

Whenever I open my mouth DP trips me up and corrects me with what I've said or clarifies what I actually mean.

I've pulled him up on it and he says he does it to everyone.

He doesn't understand how difficult and unpleasant it is to have a conversation with him because of it.

OP posts:
InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 04/07/2025 15:16

And yes the focus on details is a very autistic trait. Coming from an autistic family, conversations can be excruciating as various family members get hung up on details and correcting facts.

Girlmom35 · 05/07/2025 10:12

RebelMums · 04/07/2025 14:50

This sounds very unpleasant and toxic - total mansplaining. How would you like him to be with you?

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I don't understand your comment at all...
I was just asking a question?
I just wanted to clarify whether she had already communicated her feelings about the nitpicking and whether he's been open to hearing it, or whether he gets defensive for example.

PullTheBricksDown · 05/07/2025 10:14

InterestedBeing · 04/07/2025 14:56

Just let me fucking speak without nitpicking stuff when he knows what I fucking mean.

I went to a work event last night and honestly I met some new people and realised how amazing it was to speak without someone nitpicking me all the time.

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Tell him this, and say it's made you realise you need to end the relationship unless he stops it completely from now.

Original poster
InterestedBeing · 05/07/2025 10:23

PullTheBricksDown · 05/07/2025 10:14

Tell him this, and say it's made you realise you need to end the relationship unless he stops it completely from now.

Show quote history

He does seem to be making an effort to not do it anymore. He started pulling himself up when he does it.

I only wish i've said something before now.

OP posts:
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