I found out my (now ex fiancé) cheated multiple times, even with S Workers and went to a club for private dances when I was 9 months pregnant. He gaslight me so much having me out to be imagining things when he was cheating the whole time. He is still gaslighting me now, constantly having me doubt my own sanity at this point. I still can read his messages (which I think he knows because he deletes messages with women) and he is telling people I’m hormonal (I’m a few months postpartum) and making up absolute lies to his friend making out I’m always causing rows.
I quit my job because he said he’ll support me, now I’m stuck living in his house. He wants 50/50 custody I wouldn’t mind this, but he has a full time high demanding job, and the main issue is he does cocaine when he goes into the office or out with friends. I’ve told him he needs to cut it out but he doesn’t. He doesn’t touch the baby when he does it, but when I move out I’m petrified of something happening whilst he has the baby. I’ve found packets lying around and some residue on the sofa. I’m sure he only wants 50/50 custody as he won’t have to pay a lot of child maintenance that way (he earns a lot of money.) As when I said who will look after him he said he’ll just put him in nursery.
I’ve told this to my support worker at Women’s aid (who is a godsend) and she has put all this in a supporting letter to my council. I feel sooooo guilty even though it’s all facts and I don’t know why I feel bad. I’ve got such bad anxiety that I cannot sleep, and feel like he is going to tell everyone I’m an evil person exaggerating things, when I just want my child to be safe and to have my own place so we can coparent amicably as possible.