Single at 27, and feeling like finding a new partner only gets harder

[Willowpup97]

I'm 2 months post my break up with someone who I thought I'd go on to marry and have kids with. Turns out he felt he jumped into the relationship too soon despite saying he wanted those things too, and after a year and a half decided to end things because he felt daunted by the idea of taking those next steps.

It left me shattered, I recently reached out to him and got things off of my chest that I didn't say in person. It was an amicable conversation, but just made me realise he's really not the right person for me.

The thought of going out to date again in the future is making me a bit anxious - not really knowing if someone is really in it for the right reasons, and I feel the time pressure of trying to find the right person who I could settle down with.

I feel like my head is swirling and any positive stories of coming out of situations like this would be a huge help!

I'm definitely not thinking of dating anytime soon, I just cannot help but feel anxious about what kind of things I could come across this time around and how I would deal with them, I suppose it's the fear of the unknown, plus my brain overthinking months in advance. I do appreciate you can end up single at any age, but I thought I was set in my relationship and was on the way to living a happy life with my ex, but it wasn't to be and I know nothing is guaranteed.

Honestly, OP, in my circles, that would have been a million miles off — the only one of my friends who married by your age now says what was she thinking and why didn’t we stop her. In my late 20s a friend and I were offered jobs tutoring on the set of a film in Mexico, and we just upped and left. Another time I was working as a caretaker on a remote island. I lived in Paris for a while, and in a commune in the US.

I’m not suggesting mine is the correct way to spend your 20s, obviously, Only that the world is your oyster, and that there are other ways of ‘moving on’ apart from getting married.

Single at about the same age, after an ill-advised marriage. Met a bloke who became a fuck-buddy. All I wanted after being badly hurt and then dating quite a few frogs. We started actually going out out, but it took almost a full two years to really get to know and like each other.
It’s our 40th wedding anniversary this year.
Moral of the story: don’t rush in to things, take your time getting to know people well, and first and foremost really like them, as you could be together for a very long time long time.