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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Think my relationship is over

4 replies

Bella2025 · 03/07/2025 11:05

i am so lost at the moment.
my DH has always been quick to anger and two years ago it reached a head and I said unless he did something about his temper I was leaving. He has done two years of therapy and things have been better. I think I am still healing from the trauma of it all. It’s hard as most of the time we are happy and plod along but every so often his ugly temper returns.
There have been issues with our teens lately. The usual. Them being lazy, grumpy, rude etc etc. The youngest moved out to stay with a friend and eventually I got him to come home. He still hasn’t spoken to his dad and has refused too and every time his dad tried to talk to him it ends in a row. My DH blames me and said it’s me not standing up to him. I literally don’t know what he wants me to do. This morning I ventured the row would be less bad if he hadn’t shouted and he got really angry and told me to pack a bag if I didn’t like it. I know he doesn’t mean it and we all say things in anger but I am so done.
I don’t went to go now as he’s convinced it’s my son forcing me too. But it’s not. I’m just on eggshells. I thought the therapy helped but clearly it has to an extent but the old him comes out. He grew up in an abusive house and has no relationships with his family.
I don’t have anywhere to go. My parents perhaps. It’s awful as like every woman says, when he’s nice he’s lovely but my son is so unhappy and told him this today and his dad started basically mocking him for pulling a mental Heath card.

OP posts:
onehorserace · 03/07/2025 11:27

You don't need to go anywhere but you need to tell your husband you want to separate and ask him if he will move out for a while maybe ever. Why would you leave your children with this man?

Bella2025 · 03/07/2025 11:41

no I would never leave them, I’d have to leave. Also I say DH but as standard we aren’t married so I’m entitled to nothing. I’d have to go.

OP posts:
onehorserace · 03/07/2025 12:40

Bella2025 · 03/07/2025 11:41

no I would never leave them, I’d have to leave. Also I say DH but as standard we aren’t married so I’m entitled to nothing. I’d have to go.

You have no value at all in the house? Are you renting ?

Bella2025 · 03/07/2025 13:00

No he owns it all.

OP posts:
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