How much do you talk about yourself?

[Sunshine386]

How much do you talk with people about what's going on in your life?

I dont have many friends that I see regularly but I do talk to my parents and siblings a lot. It occurred to me that I've been going to a sports club on a weekly basis for the past six months and none of the people there know anything about me as a person, what I do for a living etc. I guess they don't ask though either or show much interest and it's not like I am trying to hide things. I don't mind telling people things but sometimes people just don't ask questions or seem interested to know about me.

Does anyone else find this or am I just extremely private, or instead come across as very private.

I wouldn’t in the context of a weekly sports club where I was there to play a game, unless some kind of spontaneous friendship emerged with some of the others. With friends, quite a lot, though probably more in terms of ‘what I thought about something I was reading’ etc.

I .was taught when I was growing up that it was "rude" to talk about yourself, that you should always ask other people about themselves. So, because other people didn't have such rules instilled in them, combined with the fact I'm naturally a shy person, I've spent a lot of my life listening to other people banging on about themselves.

Even now when I'm older and a little less inhibited about talking about myself I find the majority of people are more than happy just to talk about themselves to me and never ask questions about me. And if I try and say anything about myself they aren't really interested. They make assumptions that my view on life is the same as theirs.

Of course there are exceptions where people genuinely are interested and conversations are genuinely two- way and they want to find out about me as well as talk about themselves.

So its not just you OP. I do think there are some of us who are naturally cast by other people into the listener role.

I think a lot depends on what the family culture was when you grew up.
I do think there are people who are just too closed off - which makes it hard to connect with them, and also people who overshare and make others feel uncomfortable. But anywhere in the middle between those two is just a matter of personal preference. Honestly, how others feel about that doesn't really matter, does it? As long as you're being true to yourself.

So what I wonder is, are you at that sports club to exercise? Or are you there to make friends?
If you're just there to exercise, then be as private as you want.
If you want to make friends, then two factors matter.

1. Have you met anyone you want to be friends with?
2. Are you actively building a foundation for friendship with this person? Asking questions, showing interest, ...?