Affair

[Jazmine20]

Can someone point me in the right direction, I am 3 months into having an affair, it started off casual now it’s more passionate and romantic, I can’t stop thinking about him!!!!
we don’t text outside of work, it’s just once a fortnight we see eachother and I just can’t get him out my head and it’s driving me insane!
am I just being used for sex?
how do I know if he likes me?

You’re already a fool and already questioning his intentions.

What are you getting out of this, except a cheap thrill and sex once a fortnight?

Gross

Ew

Oh come on. Yes you’re being used for sex, bit of fun for him. Just find someone who is single and higher your standards.

Try asking him to confess and leave his wife if the affair means so much to him. He will run a mile. Then you will have your answer.

He's just using you. Get some self respect.

You are his bit on the side.

Do you also have a partner or is it just him?

You need to take some time away from this situation to see it clearly. The reason it feels so passionate and exciting is because it’s a secret between you. It’s not him — it’s the forbidden nature of the encounters. The problem is you are actively getting off on hurting someone else. Using the thrill of their betrayal to take your excitement to extra heights. Ultimately that is fucked up and is something you need to address.

No good can possibly come of this. You don’t really know him or the person he is when he’s not putting on this ‘persona’. You don’t even communicate outside work. You are an illicit thrill to him. But you are risking your reputation and integrity and ultimately your self worth by entertaining his sordid needs. You don’t want him as a boyfriend as you know this is how he treats a partner.

Be the better person and end it. He will likely do it again but don’t enable him. Have values and stick to them. Otherwise karma is a bitch.

Are you both with partner's ?
If he is married and you are single , you do realise you will always be alone at Christmas , he will holiday without you , you will also spend bank holidays alone and if he also has kids , then double shame on you .
Is it really worth it ?

WAKE THE FUCK UP & BIN

Classy.

Grow up op.

He sees you once every 2 weeks only for sex, so yeah I'm not sure what else he would be using you for tbh.

You would know that he liked you if he divorced his wife and then after that entered into a relationship with you which doesn't just include seeing you once every 2 weeks for sex.

But once he's in a relationship with you there's probably going to be another woman that he's seeing every 2 weeks for sex.

Oh Jazmine , it’s on here you come for advice 😂 😂..
Won’t end well my friend !

Yes, he definitely loves you, you are star crossed lovers. Your love is real and you’re soulmates.

If he’s martied (or ltr), he’s abusing his wife and you are party to that abuse.

If you’re married (or ltr), you’re abusing your partner and he’s party to that abuse.

Affairs are grim.

You're hurting yourself and you are hurting someone else - maybe lots of someone elses if he has kids.

Nope. Not biting. Mumsnet is not the place to go to for advice when having an affair. This can’t be genuine.

Yes OP, he is using you for sex

Once a fortnight, sees you and has sex! And thats it no other contact, so of course your being used!

An affair very rarely ends in "happily ever after"

Find the strength to ditch him OP! That is the right direction

I wonder why he only sees you once a fortnight. If he is in love with you then he would want to see you all the time. Does it make you wonder if he is seeing other women besides you. I would offer the advice pack him in and meet someone who wants to spend time with you.

Stop it now. What kind of catch is a man that can cheat on a partner????
Affairs destroy the life of the partner.
Its just sex nothing else.

I'll be honest. My partner was married when we met (I was single) . He told me very early on he loved me and it still took him 6 years to leave.
If that guy is literally not contacting you until it's time to have sex he's not going to leave. And he is only after one thing. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh but I honestly wish I had that advice in the beginning even though he said he loved me.

It's coming up to 4 years hom leaving but if I could go back in time I would have never waited that long. He only left his wife when I left and he knew I meant it.
Please take my advice and do not go near him again and please meet someone who is available I'm begging you don't give him the time of day.

Oh fuck off op, what do you think people are going to say ?

OMG. It’s like a real life fairy tale. You lucky woman getting a once a fortnight knee trembler with a married bloke who suggested even bothered enough to be in touch in-between shags.

If this real you need to give yourself a slap and pick your self respect up out of the gutter.

Of all the things you could be worrying about, your worried if he likes you?

Short answer. No, he probably thinks your an easy lay.