Sex post birth

[MyBusyTurtle]

I'm just over four months post birth. I had a 3B tear that was stitched up. Healing was quick but I did have two stitches that didn't dissolve and were quite pokey, especially when trying to return to sex. The gyno said my skin had healed around them and sex would be more comfortable once they dissolve.

They feel like they have dissolved now, but omg sex is still so painful. Most of the time, DH can only penetrate maybe two inches, other times he can't get in at all. It just feels like he hits a wall and can't push through.

It feels like I am much tighter than I was pre birth, to the point where discharge also seems to be building up down there because it seems to be getting 'caught' when I wipe the normal way.

I know that sex is typically painful for a while post birth, but I did expect that penetration could actually happen.

Am I just being overly optimistic about the healing time? I've looked it up and not sure if it's a pelvic floor issue or if the doctor just stitched too tightly?

Hospital system sucks here so it's super difficult to see a gyno and all the doctors books seem to be closed in my area (only moved a couple months ago).

Please give advice!!

I think you need to see someone to check that when you were ‘repaired’ they haven’t done it wrong. It shouldn’t continue to be this painful.

Thank you
There's so many difficult things post birth and baby related that I've tried talking to friends about and always get something along the lines of "that's normal it's just life now". So much that I haven't even tried to talk to anyone (aside from DH) about this.

It's actually quite refreshing to be told this really crap thing happening to me is not the norm

I’d get it checked out just to be on the safe side as that does sound quite painful.
However, I was the same after having my first baby (also a severe tear and stitching). I was too anxious about the pain and subconsciously clenching.
Have you tried a water-based lube?
Durex’s Sensilube is good, just take it very slowly.

If you are able to see a women’s health physio I highly recommend it. They will be able to assess you and let you know if it’s a pelvic floor issue, if the scar is tight etc and make a plan to improve it. It is not normal but unfortunately very common, but it doesn’t mean it will be like this forever. Hope you’re feeling ok x

I was ok with sex but it did feel very stretched after first birth stitches. After second child I teared again and they sorted out the stitches from the first time, saying it hadn’t been done very well. It’s felt 100% normal since

Sex should absolutely not be painful post birth. Not 4 months post birth anyway. Do not be fobbed off, something is not right. I’m sure it’s fixable but there is definitely something wrong.

I didn't tear after my first but had the same problem, too tight. After a year a saw a women's health physio who diagnosed the problem and with lots of regular exercises and some brilliant lube (yes yes yes) I was back to normal x

You need to see a doctor, please don't try again (even with lube) until you have.

I had a 3b tear that healed beautifully, but sex was painful at worst and uncomfortable at best for at least 9 months after!

It did eventually go back to normal. But even now, 6 years on, if the angle is wrong I can still feel a twinge.

After a 3 b tear it absolutely might be still painful! That’s a significant injury!

This is not normal.

If you can possibly afford it, I would book an appointment with a private consultant to get to the root of the problem.

Hi, similar to my experience even without tearing. Estrogen cream was the thing that made a shockingly big difference - if you’re breastfeeding, that can cause low estrogen and make sex unbearably painful. GP might be willing to prescribe a vaginal cream, and I recommend getting on a waiting list for a gyno appt too in case it is to do with your stitches. Lots of lube, and paracetamol in advance of sex can help too. Feel for you. Promise it can get better x