Why does my partner have an expectation to wake him up in the morning to get our child ready for school?

[bublebee]

hello, why I’m I expected to wake my partner up in the morning?
he doesn’t work and his help would be much appreciated.
I have asked this why hasn’t he helped this morning his response was because he was sleeping and when I woke up everything was done.
he saw me make our son breakfast he didn’t offer to take over, he also couldn’t put trainers on our son while I was getting ready he just laid on the sofa with his phone is his hand.
then his response to me being upset with him is that I treat him unfairly.
is anyone else going through this with their partner or I’m I being over the top?

Why doesn't he work?

He doesn’t work out of the home, or in the home. What’s he for?

You need to stop seeing it as ‘helping’ you. He should be doing 50% of the parenting and housework. Unless you work out of the home and then he should be doing about 90% during the working week.

He blames it on mental health

Waster.

Do you work?

Tell him he’s getting breakfast for your son tomorrow while you have a lie in. He will continue to behave like this if you let him.

Did he go from mom's house to yours?

He's not really a partner if he doesn't share the load. He sounds like an adult who expects you to take care of him. Tell him he can set an alarm, you are busy with your actual child in the morning.

Is he caring for his mental health that is so bad he can't work by going to all appointments and taking medications and following his treatment plan? Is he planning to file for disability?

What's going on with his mental health?

Is he actually doing anything to improve his mental health?

why I’m I expected to wake my partner up in the morning?
The answer, by the way, is because you’re letting him treat you like a doormat!!

partner1
noun: partner

either of a pair of people engaged together in the same activity. "arrange the children in pairs so that each person has a partner" a person or group that takes part with another or others in doing something. "he began to call potential coalition partners about forming a new government" any of a number of individuals with interests and investments in a business or enterprise, among whom expenses, profits, and losses are shared.

How long has he not been working due to "mental health"?

How’s your MH these days, @bublebee?

When did he stop working? What does he do all day?

You shouldn’t have to wake him but if he isn’t going to wake himself then I certainly wouldn’t think twice about waking him up as I got out of bed!
Need him to put kids trainers on “can you put their shoes on please while I just finish getting ready?” “Will you just finish breakfast while I do XYZ?” Have you asked him to do these things or are you just doing them waiting on the offer of help?

Isn't that obvious from the post? He is a lazy s.o.b.

Just get rid, he's useless and likely always will be.

Cocklodger

Boot him out.

No point wasting any time thinking it over, he can "work on his mental health" elsewhere. And pay his own living expenses at the same time.

Your kids are growing up thinking this is normal, it is not.

Was he working when you met him and he gave up thinking he could move in with you and get you to pay for everything or is it a genuine illness. I refuse to continue a conversation with a man who doesn't work. If he is a SAHP he should be doing most of the childcare, housework and cooking.

Case of a cock lodger unfortunately

Oh god, save your own mental health and run far from this loser.

Is anyone else going through this with their partner or I’m I being over the top?

Well yes, at least half of Mumsnet by the sound of it!!
Every day there are multiple posts along the same lines as this one (I have read three this morning and it isn’t even 7am) Where women are dancing around lazy, helpless, child-like and often nasty men and I wonder why we all put up with it so readily.

If he doesn’t work and he doesn’t help with your child, what actual use is he Op? Does he bring anything positive to your life or is he a dead weight?
I would think very carefully about the future you want.