wank bank ??

[Isabellaxxx]

Sorry for all of this but I’m curious to know what the hell has happened
I’m mostly in shock two days ago I bumped into a neighbours boyfriend and my hair was wet as I had just had a shower and rushed to the shop , he said hi I said hi back , we get on , in that way we’re respectful and friendly but as I walked off he said wet hair :) one for the wank bank and laughed it off
I was in shock I laughed I have no clue why I reacted that way
I’m very strange
but what the hell does that even mean
he has a girlfriend ?

It means he’s a creep and your neighbour could do better. Whether you tell your neighbour he’s a creep, or just acknowledge he’s a creep and ignore him if he tries to chat to you again, depends on how invested you are with your neighbour, really.

If anyone replies guys I’m really ashamed for some reason I have no clue I do suffer with bipolar and anxiety panic . I keep beating myself up about the fact I actually laughed it isn’t good :(

You laughed because laughter can often be an anxiety response, and you were shocked - and probably put on edge - because you couldn’t quite believe somebody you barely know would have quite the audacity to say something like that to you as if it were normal or expecting you to respond well.

You have nothing to be ashamed about, at all. He’s the creep who should feel ashamed to have said it to you.

He's a grim little man and I'd steer well clear in future.

It was an instinctive response to an unexpected and stressful situation. Most people whould have done the same, regardless of what they might claim in an online forum, and would now feel like you do.

The only way to respond in a more thoughtful way is to train yourself, but for most situations that you are likely to encounter, it might not be worth the effort.

He sounds like a complete knob.

I'm intrigued by the wet hair thing. It's unlocked a memory from my childhood. My uncle (a creep) was talking about a neighbour and he said "she always answers the door with wet hair" in a lascivious way. My aunt was flustered and disapproving. I was clear it was something pervy but I've never understood the reference. What is it?

So women aren’t even allowed to wash their hair without being sexualised now? Fab.

Laughter is a perfectly normal response when you're suddenly confronted, embarrassed or even frightened. You have nothing to feel guilty about - this odious little man isn't worth spending any more time thinking about. I pity your poor neighbour.

Indeed I laugh when I feel awkward - it's part of mirroring to try and be nice/align with others.
He's a total creep and his oh needs to know what he is like.

I would have probably laughed in that situation too OP. It’s a common nervous reaction, but also just one of those things people do to brush off a socially awkward interaction.

Your reaction was completely normal and understandable.

The man thinks you’re attractive. He had an awful way of expressing it and obviously shouldn’t have expressed it at all. But men have found women attractive and made comments that made them feel awkward probably since our species gained the ability to talk. Don’t overthink it.

It’s a creepy way of pointing out that someone has recently been in the bath/shower (and therefore naked). Other things may be implied.

What things? I honestly don't get it at all. My mum would answer the door with wet hair, mu dad never said anything or even a hint at anything saucy

But men have found women attractive and made comments that made them feel awkward probably since our species gained the ability to talk. Don’t overthink it.

Whilst acknowledging you also agree he shouldn’t have said it, I don’t think anyone gets a pass on this sort of behaviour. Men may have been making these comments for eternity, but that doesn’t mean it should be brushed over as just one of those things women shouldn’t overthink. “You look nice today” = fine. Overtly sexual comments to a near-stranger who hasn’t indicated she has any interest in you and wouldn’t be interested anyway because she knows you’re in a relationship = not fine.

Most of us have invisible sexual thoughts about people. For many of us it will sometimes include the people we see around us. Most of us are just civilised, respectful, and prudent enough that we never feel any sort of need to share our invisible thoughts with other people, and particularly not the people we are thinking them about, because we know it’s likely to embarrass them or make them feel awkward, and have no desire to do that.

@ComtesseDeSpair

You’re not wrong, I just don’t think it will help the OP feel better if she is made to feel that it’s her responsibility to react a certain way or do anything about this bloke being a knob when it isn't.

Oh that’s disgusting he said that to you!

How the hell does he think this is appropriate?