Coffee date. Nervous.

[Mablebee]

Hi all, so I have a coffee date/meet with a lovely man this week.
Firstly I don't know what to wear. It's informal, just meeting in his lunch break but it's going to be hot weather. I was going to wear a knee length summer dress and ankle boots but I don't want him to think I'm too dressed up? Yes I am over thinking!
Also we have gone ahead and just gone straight for a meet up (we're local to each other) rather than spending hrs messaging which is good, we know a bit about each other, he knows I have kids but he doesn't know now how many (2 adult kids who live their own lives now and 3 younger ones aged 12, 11 and 7 at home . I left my last relationship 8 months ago and in that relationship my ex and I agreed that id be holding the fort at home seeing he work long hrs.
I'm a parent carer so since the breakup I've been concentrating on my kids and not been able to find work that works around my children, especially as one is only at school part-time.
It's great he will meet me as me but how do I gently explain my situation without it sounding negative at all because to me none of it is negative. I aware that the chances of a coffee date leading to anything more is slim but I want to at least be a bit optimistic 🙂

I think you knee length summer dress sounds perfect - though not sure about ankle boots in this weather. Some summery shoes - sandals or light coloured wedges.

Most importantly - you should feel comfortable and feel like yourself.

Good luck.

It's great he will meet me as me but how do I gently explain my situation without it sounding negative at all because to me none of it is negative. I aware that the chances of a coffee date leading to anything more is slim but I want to at least be a bit optimistic

This is your life and this is you. It's not negative to you so no reason for it to come across as negative if you simply state facts and talk about the things you love - if you're happy and positive that is all that will come across. If he sees it as negative that will be him projecting and will be his issue - not yours!

Exciting! First of all your summer dress sounds perfect and not too much at all, but agree with the PP that ankle boots would be a bit heavy for this weather and with your dress - but really just go with what you feel most comfortable in!

Secondly, I think just go with the flow of the conversation in terms of what you tell him about your situation - you’ll hopefully get a feel for whether he’s a nice/decent guy and therefore what you feel comfortable sharing. Personally I’m always honest and upfront about these things as that’s who I am as a person (without being ranty or going on about it!) and it paid off with my first internet date after my marriage breakup last year - he’s a fantastic guy and wasn’t scared off by my slightly messy breakup - we’re still together nearly 10 months later! Good luck, be your authentic self, and enjoy!

You don’t the be dressed up for a coffee shop. Just wear the dress with cooler footwear as suggested. Hope the date goes well.

Don’t need to be dressed up, bloody phone🤦‍♀️

I don’t think you need to give him all that info over coffee! He knows you have kids- if he wants more info he can ask, or you can talk about it over the next few dates if you click.

knee length summer dress sounds perfect for a (ice?) coffee in the sun. Just relax and enjoy meeting someone new. Good luck!

Tell him about your kids. Doesn't need to be 'There's something you should know' but just talk about them enough so he knows how many, what age. If this goes further then he'll know anyway so if it's an issue for him, best to know it now.
And don't dress up too much! It's a coffee, and he'll be dressed for work, so keep it relaxed, enjoy it! Remember that if you're worrying too much about what he thinks of you, you'll be less bothered about finding out more about him, so try not to put yourself on the spot too much.

Wear trainers, sneakers or fashion trainers with the dress x