MN please be my sounding board on how to navigate if I should be worried this is a sign or just one of lives ‘things’
Partner is a very active and busy mummy and like all couples with young children finding time for intimacy can be a challenge, but I’ve always thought it’s one of the strands of the relationship which actually make us who we are together and not just friends and as such we should always make time otherwise we could easily drift apart before we know it.
Intimacy has never been an issue for us before but usually ends up being a Fri-Sun thing as we have less work and life pressures, however the last 3 weekends in a row she has fallen asleep during foreplay so we haven’t DtD or even got any where close to finishing foreplay.
Now 1st weekend you think okay we are all tired that’s how it goes, try again another day, 2nd weekend you still think okay not ideal but you are obviously so very tired no worries. But now a 3rd weekend in a row to literally within a few minutes of foreplay starting be snoring is a bit worrying.
The obvious is I've just become really bad at getting her in the mood so much so that it’s acting like a tranquilliser! But I would say our other life pressures are the same as most with 4 young children, the unusual thing is probably her amount of exercise, Mon-Fri up at 04:30 to go to a super intense warehouse workout session then weekends a mix of running, cycling or triathlon events. This has been the norm for years though so not a recent change all this activity.
On the one hand I think, say nothing it is what it is and hopefully back to normal soon, on the other hand I want to say this is a bit worrying falling fast asleep 3 times in a row as we want to spend some time together and this is probably happening because you are so tired from exercising a lot and from very early.
I suppose I’m also asking advice to just go with the flow and deal with it or try and do something now to alter course before we start eroding our intimacy even more and likely start to build resentment which usually it seems leads to relationship breakdown.
My current thinking is to talk to her tonight and explain my concerns but then put the ball in her court and say, you lead on this now, you initiate sex as at least you will know if you’re awake enough to continue.
Thanks for reading and hope you have a lovely weekend 😊