Can you come back from The Ick?

[poppymango]

Just that really. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years, we have been planning a life together and hoping to have children. But recently I’ve been going off him in certain ways. I suppose you could call it “the ick”. I don’t want to start listing them, but it came on gradually, starting with little things, and then I realised today that I was quite excited to spend some time away from him. My friend also introduced me to her new boyfriend recently and I was so excited for her because he’s lovely and really gorgeous, and I’m looking at my bf and realising suddenly that I don’t fancy him so much. I dunno, he’s giving me old man vibes (even though he’s only 6 years older than me).

I’m he’s so brilliant in so many ways, and we have been so happy, so I’m damned if I’m going to give up just because of this, but I really want to know if this is just a rough patch on my part that we can come back from. People always talk about “the ick” in the context of it being the moment you realise you want out. But I don’t, I just want to get past it.

I’m hoping some space will help, but does anyone have any advice? Have you ever had this feeling and come back from it? I’m feeling a bit low today because of it. I’m not expecting the butterflies and honeymoon phase to last forever, but I don’t like this feeling.

We need ick details I'm afraid...

I think you might need to say a bit about what it is - then it would be easier to disentangle what might be irritation at certain behaviours

You may have issues that mean you find security unattractive . Hard to tell and id say worth speaking to a therapist

In my experience of relationships two years in has always been the make or break stage. Where the initial excitement has run its course and either love is definite or dwindling.
I think this is your sign that it's over.
I do happen to think people can come back from the ick. Relationships ebb and flow and every long term relationship goes through periods where it's not gelling together in the same way. It usually rights itself with time.
When you think of you two in ten years time how do you feel OP?

I agree with this.

I don’t think you have the ick - you’re just a bit bored, and your mate has a shiny new toy. Try doing nice stuff together, remind yourself of the things you liked about him in the beginning.

I got the ick with an ex - it turned into utter repulsion in a matter of weeks for no particular reason, I went from fancying him to barely being able to even look at him and 3 years later he still turns my stomach.