just had tooth out - in agony - dh & i bickering

[ohdearohdear]

thats about it really. had tooth out today and in severe pain now - extraction didn't go smoothly. dh not being particularly sympathetic ( he said because he was focussing on looking after ds (2)) and stopping him running around the dentsit surgery! I've got upset with him for this lack of sympathy asnd he's had a go at me back saying he's been running around after me all morning so basicallly stop complaining. I got upset, which has made the pain worse and bleeding start again

ouch!
can't he take ds out for the afternoon and leave you in peace?

ds asleep atm - hoepfully they'll both go out soon. some proper sympathy would have been nice

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yes, your probably right, dior. i think his idea of sympathy is that he took me to the dentist and go my antibiotics

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thanks dittany. if it were thother way round, i'd be looking after him. he doesn't seem that bothered now he's taken me there and got the tabs/ he knows the bleeding got worse after he was nasty too

he said it's my fault i got upset because i was annoyed with him and he was just defending himself

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No not really. Think i'll just keep away from him. really worried because having an operarion (see my other threads!) in a few months as he's supposed to be looking after me afterwards - for 3 weeks!

Oooh sympathies - having a tooth out is no fun.

Is your dh usually sympathetic and caring when you are ill? If so, why do you think he is not being that way now? If he's not generally a sympathetic type, then he's just being 'normal' (for him, anyway) - though I'd want him to 'rise to the occasion' too.

not he's not normally especially sympathtic. He didn't even ask how things were when i cam out the the dentist. just gave me a toothbrush that ds had been playing with and ask me to pay for it with my bill!!! he said he didn't talk to me about how i was on the way back as he said when he had tooth out he didn't feel like talking. he didn't expain this until a few minutes ago though.

Maybe he's not good with illness? My grandfather was like that - couldn't bear it when my grandmother was unwell. In fact, he went and played golf when she was delivering one of their children. Men weren't allowed in the delivery room back then, but still...

Not sure I would choose to, but she came to accept it as something he simply couldn't cope with, so didn't ask/expect it of him.

i'm even more worried about mu operation now and how he'll be with me afterwards

Is he unsure of himself when having sole charge responsibility for ds? Maybe he's anxious, and it's manifesting as grumpy/unsympathetic.

Can anyone else help out when you have the other operation? Do you have family around, or does he?

yes, he does get stressed sometime looking after ds . most of the time he spends with ds id "fun" time! i'm a sahm so do all the shooping, and that sort of thing,dh doesn't often have to get "jobs" doen when he's with ds so he's not as used to dealing with ds when he's difficult! dh and i have made up again and talked about why we got upset with eachother. he's taken ds shopping now to buy some stuff i can eat

Glad to hear things are better now.

In anticipation of your upcoming surgery, can you make/freeze food in advance to make it easier on dh?

Who knows, the upside may be that your dh has a newfound appreciation for how much you do!

Yes, good idea. already planned to do loads of cooking and freeze it in the week before and get lots of shopping done, etc so there's less for him to do