Has anyone else post decide decided a conventional relationship isn’t for them?

[Earpod]

• title should say post divorce*

I am 6 years post divorce with 2 primary school aged children. I have had relationships since but all have wanted to move in, blend families, have more children etc.
I don’t think that’s for me, I’d like to have a relationship that is separate to my family life (I have free time as we have 50/50 time with children), do nice things together, trips etc but also be in a committed enough relationship, support each other. I’m early 30s and my friends all think I’m mad to not look for another marriage etc but that just doesn’t appeal to me.
is there anyone else who feels like me and how has it went for you?

Absolutely. I separated a few years ago and feel the same. We still live in the same house and will do so for at least the next few years as a family which isn't ideal but we get on well most of the time and he is a good guy so it's not a massive hardship and any difficulties around lack of space etc are largely worth it for now for stability for our daughter. It would be an awful set up for anyone entering a new relationship and I'm not interested in meeting anyone so it's not a priority anyway - my mum getting into an abusive relationship after her divorce blew mine and my brother's lives right up and I won't risk it for my daughter. I appreciate things might change and my ex might meet someone and we'll deal with that if and when.

It also feels very easy because I no longer want to be involved with men anyway and the chances of meeting another woman I would want to have a relationship with and who wants the type of relationship I would think about is very very slim. I will never do internet dating or anything like that which probably makes it 100 times even more unlikely.

im late twenties
1 dc
im too selfish to live with anyone now unless they were to marry me, buy a nicer house than what I have bought
im quite successful on my own
so it would take a lot more and not a regular joe to just hop on my bus.
there needs to be a lot more

for now, im happy co parenting and enjoying the lifestyle at the weekends

I also don't want anyone else's children - I have one of my own and chose not to have any more. I don't want step children.

This would be my ideal set up. Up until about 5 years ago I wanted the traditional couple living together situation as I've never had it (I'm in my mid 50s) but since I've been alone most of my life (outside of living with my DD) I realize I like my space too much and now that she's grown I only have to worry about myself and consider myself when making decisions. I can't imagine sharing my space with someone 100% of the time. I would feel that I would have to be "on" the whole time they are here and I'm an introvert so that would be difficult for me.

@Earpod you have time on your side…do what makes you happy👍🏿 why settle into a relationship that deep down you do not desire, you know what will happen later into the relationship,socialise, have fun how you want to, don’t feel pressured by family friends etc just because it’s conventional ✊🏿

I completely agree with this. I’m 50, divorced 3 years, and I want no part of someone else’s kids 😂. I want a boyfriend for me, I don’t need to replicate a family set up and argue about whose turn it is to take the bins out.
don’t want to upset my kids and they don’t need a replacement father as they already have a dad who has them 50% of the time. My free time is for me!

Yep, it's not the best thing for my children to bring another man into their lives/home so we will keep our lives/homes separate until they are adults, possibly forever as there are many benefits.

You're not crazy at all. There isn't a fixed equation for a relationship, you're in charge.

The threads i read on here about mothers (mainly) moving a partner in /blending families, it going t*ts up and then having to split/unblend due to very difficult teenage times. Not worth it. Arguably selfish.

I am 5 years divorced, been with my boyfriend 4.5 years, kids are 10 and 7 now. They know him and he hangs out with us, but goes home afterwards. I work hard to carve out time for the 2 of us to have time for us, it's a massive balancing act but it's worth it for me, as i get a lot out of it and i can focus on the kids day-to-day and just try and be the best parent for them.

^ So does my friend. Not sure it’ll be like this once children have left, but for now she bloody loves it!

Just on the verge of divorce finalising here. This set up you describe is what i forsee in my future. I dont want to live with someone else again/get married etc