Is this super strong infatuation or am I in love?

[InfatuationEnigma2]

It’s hard to tell, especially since I have no clue how she feels about me or if she has any similar feelings.

Some say it’s infatuation, others say it isn’t. I’ve heard both from the same social groups.

She’s my age and she is stunningly, terrifyingly beautiful. But to me, it’s not just on the outside. I really appreciate the friendship and support she’s given me for half my life. I really wish I could see more of her.

I don’t know if I’m literally in love or not. It isn’t just her beauty. There’s millions of beautiful women, but only one of her. Only one of her who was such a great loyal friend for decades.

What is this feeling?

It's infatuation or limerance (look it up) if you are not in a relationship and/or it's not reciprocated

Limerance is just another word for stalking half the time

whatever it is, keep a lid on it. Women don’t want to deal with your infatuations

quite so. Try to focus on actual interactions with people not your inner wishes.

You’ve been friends for decades? Surely you would know by now if there was actually something between you. Sounds like you’re infatuated, if you truly value her friendship then don’t spoil it.

It's not love.
I agree it's limerance or an infatuation.
How do I know? Because you describe her like she's a shiny toy and you just want to have it. The focus is on your wants, your needs.
Nowhere in your post have you mentioned even once that you care about her beyond how she can fulfill your needs.

Have you ever wondered how she would feel if she knew you were thinking about her this way? How it would impact her? Would she feel betrayed, lied to, would she be upset that you're spoiling the friendship? Would it make her uncomfortable?
When you love someone, you care about their needs at least as much as you care about our own.
How do your feelings for her contribute to her happiness and well-being? Maybe that should be the focus point from now on.

Have you told her how you feel?
Having been on the other side of limerence, she probably knows... especially if you've been talking about your feelings with other people in the friendship group. If she's not approached you, then it's probably not reciprocal and you need to let go of these feelings. If not, I'm betting she feels uncomfortable in your presence at best; or more likely completely weirded out and icky about your affections.

Does the label matter? I think it’s possible to develop very deep feelings for someone you are friends with and without being in a romantic relationship with them. Different people will give different labels to the feelings but “in love” might be a reasonable label to put on those feelings. Or you might say you have a massive crush if you want it to feel more manageable.

But there are a few things which are unclear from your original post. You don’t have to answer these questions. But - is she single? Are you single? It sounds like you’ve been friends for a long time. Is there any reason why you haven’t suggested taking it further? If you can’t be with her, are your feelings for her stopping you becoming involved with any other women?

Sometimes people use getting hung up hopelessly on someone unavailable as a way of avoiding real life relationships and intimacy. Most of us have suffered romantic disappointments/broken hearts but gone on to love someone else very happily and successfully. Most of us have also romantically disappointed someone else/broken someone else’s heart and in time that person has gone on to love very happily elsewhere too. There’s more than one right person for all of us.