Have a baby alone or try with partner?

[Instando]

Back story is that I have a child with my ex and we co parent 70/30. We had an awful divorce and for the last 6 years I have parented solo and I enjoy it, I don’t see the appeal of ever living with a partner again, having a child with someone, running the risk of separating and losing time with another child etc.
i do however want another child and have started the process of fertility treatment again. I had been dating someone for the past year who is very keen to have kids, move in etc, all those ‘traditional’ relationship milestones but I just don’t want that? They’re a lovely kind gentle person and I enjoy our relationship separate to my parenting/family life. I have my own home and have worked hard to get to this stage oh my life. Yes I’d love the fairytale ending but I don’t feel I have time to see if this relationship will definitely last (I’m also quite jaded about relationships now). I am 37, 38 soon and I don’t want to regret not having another child or trying to at least. Taking this step would mean ending the relationship.
i am financially stable with great family support.
Am I crazy?

I would not be bringing another child into the world now at this point in time if I were you sorry @Instando Not as the situation stands.

Stop leading them on if you want kids but have doubts about them being involved. A year is long enough to tell. The relationship is doomed either way if you are even contemplating having a child with a donor rather than your partner. You obviously don’t want the same things as your partner if you don’t want to live with a partner again and he wants to live with his partner and have children.

this whole post reads as a bit selfish and Me me me

Before I met them I was actively looking at having a child solo. This then changed things but I don’t think I want that

You are not crazy. In your shoes I would go it alone. Good luck.

Thank you. When ive spoke to my friends and family they have made me feel like i should always pick the option of doing it with a partner. But from my experience I only see risks and negatives to that

If you don’t want that/him then let him down gently. Even if you decide to not go for a sperm donor/ kid alone it’s unfair to lead this man on as he has been open about wanting completely different things from you. Give him a chance to meet someone who wants the same, especially if he’s a similar age and wants kids before he feels too old to deal with them even if he isn’t too old biologically

I know. My partner wants to stay together though and hope my mind will change. We do want different things and I’ve been clear from the start but I can’t force myself to want those things

Thanks for your resonses xx

You need to cut him loose, regardless of whether you have another child or not.
You gave it a go, you hoped for the best and time has shown you that you're not willing to give up your independence, even for someone you care about.
This is a choice you're absolutely allowed to make, however sooner or later your boyfriend is going to realise that you're not changing your mind. And that's when the resentment, the blame and the bitterness will creep in.

There is no way this relationship is going anywhere good, not when you have such different hopes and dreams for the future.
As for having a child solo. It seems you've thought this through and you know what you're getting yourself into. Why not?

There is no way this relationship is going anywhere good, not when you have such different hopes and dreams for the future.
As for having a child solo. It seems you've thought this through and you know what you're getting yourself into. Why not?

This

If you really believe he’s waiting for you to change his mind then it would be unkind to continue the relationship knowing this, especially if you are planning on having a child by donor.