Moving on from marriage into the spare room

[ComeTheMoment]

I’ve moved out of the joint bedroom into the spare room. First step towards formal separation, and temporary until I can think through what my next steps will be. In the meantime, what else is it practicable to change? eg meals, washing up, washing, using other family rooms, when to tell wider family? We have a DC at the end of Year 6. So far I have told him I’ve moved into the guest room because daddy snores. For the record, I don’t feel very amicable towards husband, and it’s taken me years to come to this point. Moving out is still some way down the track I think. Husband has made it clear he won’t do so, and it is me who is the initiator.

Pointers from those who took this as a first step would be very welcome.

Yes. Undiagnosed, but I am a teacher and I am very sure. It goes with his extreme abilities in some areas and extreme weaknesses in others.

It just sounded so much like my ex’s ex husband - highly qualified in engineering, strong bond with (then undiagnosed autistic) son, completely rigid thinking, no emotional intelligence or social skills. Guess it only helps in understanding why he is how he is - and accepting the things that you know won’t change.

Exactly, although I would be a bit surprised if DS was diagnosed as autistic.

Exactly this. Abused children always try to placate their abuser by doing what keeps the abuser sweet in the hope of preventing more abuse.