Partner with anxiety

[ItsJoe]

Hi All,
im looking for some guidance/advice if possible. Happy to DM aswell if people don’t want to discuss on the forum.
My partner suffers with bad anxiety but it’s got to the point where I don’t know what to do and anything I say just gets ignored. She goes to a therapist and she says it helps but I genuinely see no change or difference.
The anxiety has got to a point where it’s ruining our relationship. I’ve suggested we see someone together but she isn’t interested in that.

I think it’s hard to comment without more information - in what ways is it ruining your relationship? Do you understand her anxieties?

If she’s not interested in fixing things then they can’t be fixed. Is she taking medication? Is the therapist a properly qualified person? There is a huge different between doing CBT and chatting to someone who isn’t qualified.

It’s general anything, someone could tell her something or see something on the news etc and it will bother her and then become a fear of hers. She will talk to me about them and 99% of them are nothing serious but it will snowball and she will then be up all night thinking about it and worrying. It’s got a point where she won’t go to certain places, on public transport, things medically aswell.
Trying to be supportive is becoming hard because I try and explain that the little things probably aren’t worth worrying about etc (I appreciate telling someone not worry maybe isn’t correct) it’s got to the point where she’s becoming overly protective of our children aswell which I fear will then cause them to develop these anxieties aswell.

She’s not on meds no, the therapist is qualified and genuine but I don’t believe they are fixing the anxieties though but my wife doesn’t see that.

Anxiety can go through the roof when one hits menopause. Might that be the case? If so, perhaps look into HRT?

My wife has been to the dr’s about menopause and peri and they’ve said she doesn’t have it yet. They’ve just said it’s bad anxiety.

I've had severe anxiety in the past. An ssri (antidepressant) sorted me out completely. I used to be terrified of walking into a shop or making a phonecall but now I don't give it a second thought. Therapy is good but medication is necessary when anxiety starts affecting your life to this degree.

It sounds like general anxiety disorder, is she speaking to a cognitive therapist? A family member of mine suffers from this, badly. Having children does make it worse unfortunately.

She needs to as best she can look after herself. People with anxiety need time to do self care, does she exercise do mindfulness? I’m not saying just these things will help, but people with anxiety need to do things to decompress and somehow bring themselves back to neutral where possible. The things I’m saying are all things my family member has said to us.

I feel very sorry for her, it’s really crippling. It is hard on family members too, because unless you’ve experienced it it’s hard to fully understand why they are being like that and they can’t rationalise a situation like you can.