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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Housework

4 replies

Snailgirl4001 · 25/06/2025 09:43

Me 24/F my partner M/27 live together and have a young baby. I’m currently on maternity leave, my partner works a full time job. He thinks it’s wrong that I am wanting him to do more around the house, I care for our baby and do all of the housework. Our yard is going out of control with weeds and hedges being overgrown and I want to have it sorted for next year when baby is old enough to play outside. Currently I have to ask my elderly parents to come and help maintain it as cannot rely on my partner and feel bad that they are always around trying to help me maintain the house. My partner can live in any mess and leaves things around everywhere, his clothes are thrown into his cupboards and I cannot distinguish what is clean or not. He says that he works and earns money therefore he basically doesn’t have to do anything. He never puts the trash out and it sorely relies on me. We often miss the trash days as I am too busy to leave baby to do it, therefore there is always rotting bags with maggots in outside bins. He never remembers to do anything and rarely does what I ask. He thinks this is acceptable because he works and I don’t currently even though I plan on going back. This always turns into an argument when I bring it up that he could help out on weekends as he always finds time to do his hobbies. What do I do about this?

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 25/06/2025 09:53

You can't have rotting rubbish bags in the house OP. Set an alarm on your phone and take them outside. I'm assuming the prince you're with has always been an arse.

Can you pay someone to sort out the garden? Try the Next door app, I'm sure you'll find someone reasonable. It sounds like when you go back to work, you'll be doing absolutely everything.

You need to lay it on the line for him because at the moment he's just an additional weight. I'd stop doing anything for him at all and just look after yourself and the baby.

Sunshineismyfavourite · 25/06/2025 09:57

Assuming your DP has some days off from his full time job - what does he do to fill these days? Does her play with your baby, interact at all?

He may be working full time but that doesn't mean he can leave the house in a mess and not clean up after himself - he sounds like he hasn't grown up himself. Sounds like he needs to take some responsibility for the home and his family.

Snailgirl4001 · 25/06/2025 10:13

They are outside but he never remembers or takes them out ready for the bin men to come, therefore I either have to wait until they go next or take them to the tip.

OP posts:
Snailgirl4001 · 25/06/2025 10:14

He does love baby to bits but on weekends enjoys surfing or we go out as a family, but last sun asked him to pick hedge cuttings up that my family had cut and he sat and watched tv all day

OP posts:
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