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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner left me but still shouting, being demanding – waiting for sale to go through

12 replies

Theuniversalshere1 · 25/06/2025 08:04

Hi everyone,
Looking for some advice and support, really struggling emotionally.
My partner left me, but we still live in the same house while waiting for the sale to go through (we both own it) im buying him out at his request as became very aggressive about it. I've bought my own place and am just waiting for everything to complete with the solicitors. The issue is, even though we jointly own the house, he acts like it's his now and that after any disagreement, i should leave – even though legally I don’t have to.
They raise their voice, shout at me, and make all kinds of demands. If I don’t respond with a perfect smile and calm tone, they threaten to "make me leave." I'm constantly walking on eggshells and they often pick fights early in the morning (today was before 8am), which leaves me anxious and shaken.
It's starting to become like water off a duck’s back – I block it out, think ill be in my new home soon– but it still really affects my nerves and makes this waiting period so difficult to cope with.
Has anyone been in a similar situation – where a verbally or emotionally abusive ex tried to dominate the shared home after leaving? Did you end up moving out just to escape the tension? How did you manage it emotionally or practically, especially when you still had legal rights to stay?
Thanks in advance – I feel really trapped and could use some reassurance or advice.

OP posts:
Francestein · 25/06/2025 08:06

Start recording him and calling the police every time. (It’s still your home so it’s legal)

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/06/2025 08:07

I’m really confused as you have bought your own place but you are also buying them out?

Zanatdy · 25/06/2025 08:08

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/06/2025 08:07

I’m really confused as you have bought your own place but you are also buying them out?

Same. Was it a mistake and meant he is buying her out?

Theuniversalshere1 · 25/06/2025 08:09

Zanatdy · 25/06/2025 08:08

Same. Was it a mistake and meant he is buying her out?

Yes sorry he is buying me out of the equity since owning it together. I got the language wrong.

OP posts:
Theuniversalshere1 · 25/06/2025 08:09

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/06/2025 08:07

I’m really confused as you have bought your own place but you are also buying them out?

Sorry they are buying me out.

OP posts:
Dolphinnoises · 25/06/2025 08:12

Have they given you the cash yet?

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/06/2025 08:14

Theuniversalshere1 · 25/06/2025 08:09

Yes sorry he is buying me out of the equity since owning it together. I got the language wrong.

So what stage are you guys at? Has he actually paid the money/ signed contracts?

Theuniversalshere1 · 25/06/2025 08:20

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/06/2025 08:14

So what stage are you guys at? Has he actually paid the money/ signed contracts?

No not yet still waiting in solicitors.

OP posts:
Theuniversalshere1 · 25/06/2025 08:20

Dolphinnoises · 25/06/2025 08:12

Have they given you the cash yet?

No

OP posts:
Dolphinnoises · 25/06/2025 08:27

Then you need to be a stuck record “Until the £205,000 (or whatever) lands in my account, it’s my house too”

Out of interest, if the buyout goes through before your house purchase (and I assume it will) are you still planning to live there?

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/06/2025 08:30

Theuniversalshere1 · 25/06/2025 08:20

No not yet still waiting in solicitors.

Until he has it’s still yours,?if you report to police they will suggest one of you leave . What options do you both have? Also if he left would thst scupper the sale?

It is a horrid situation and I sympathise. I’d start recording conversations and just grey rock. I’ll leave when ownership is transferred. With my abusive ex I found thst once I emotionally detached I regained my power. Whilst I still cared I would try and explain, smooth things over , jump through all the hoops but it was never/ I was never good enough. You can’t win apart from stepping back mentally and realising how utterly irrational he is.

Sttongly recommend you do the freedom programme.

Lighteningstrikes · 25/06/2025 08:33

I would stand up to the bully boy, and tell him it’s still legally half of your property, and that if he doesn’t stop, you will call the police and pull out of buying him out (I wouldn’t of course pullout).

Phone the solicitor (even in front of him) and see if they can hurry it up. I would also be honest and tell them about his bullying behaviour. One, it will make them realise and they will hopefully prioritise you, and two, hopefully it will humiliate him, which he well and truly deserves.

I hope it all goes through very soon 💐

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