The other night I was telling my sister (32) a funny story and out of the blue my husband says to me 'I don't mean to put you down or be rude but are you ok? You seem all hyper and jittery. You're going a mile a minute'.
I was so confused and got embarrassed. That was the end of that story. My sister asked me the next day how did what he said make me feel. I said embarrassed.
I got the feeling he was trying to quieten me but it's done so descretely I nearly feel like I'm going mad.
My husband apologised straight away and said what he said came out wrong and he was trying to be funny.
This isn't the first example of his behaviour. We've been together 17yrs and although these instances have gotten less frequent, his behaviour is still there.
June 2024 he said to me during an argument'are you dumb. Seriously are u'! It brought us to counciling. I approached him on it and he swung it back to me that I was being sensitive. I really struggle to articulate how wrong this is to him. It's like he has an answer or and 'out' for everything I say. I laid down my boundaries then in relation to respect but I'm not sure he gets it. He didn't keep up the counselling.
Just the night before this situation he said 'I haven't said anything disrespectful in a long time since the counselling have I?!' I think this is a weird thing to say. Like it's the wrong attitude.
Something in my gut tells me the true problem for his behaviour is still there.