Don’t want a man but want sex!

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I hesitated to write this as I don’t want to seem crass but here goes. I have recently turned 50 and come out of a seven year relationship where little by little, many, many lies were revealed. It was on and off for a long time until I just couldn’t go on with a man I didn’t trust. Anyway, it’s all in the past and I am processing everything slowly (it’s been 9 months) but I really miss the sex.

i have tried internet dating but as a working single mum, I just don’t have the time (or the inclination) for the texting and getting to know a man, let alone scheduling time to meet them. It’s too complicated to integrate a man into our mostly settled family dynamic, and although it’s hard financially, I can manage OK without a man. I don’t need one. But I do want to have sex.

i don’t want to go on the dating sites saying I want no strings sex because that may open the floodgates for all sorts. I fancy younger men but don’t want to have to teach them. I don’t really fancy men my own age (they say men age better than women; I beg to differ!) I was in touch with an ex who was making all the right moves towards rekindling, and it turns out he has a wife!!!

Has anyone had any luck with meeting nice, respectful and classy men for fun dates and mind-blowing sex?

How did you go about finding guys then? Using apps or just going to bars/pubs

I have heard of feeld. i thought it was fetish site.

There are plenty of men and women in the same situation as in being separated, divoced and just need the physical part.

Just seems hard to find someone. My luck when I am on these sites and I do connect, everyone seems miles away lol.. surely must be some local. Need to invent a better app or open a facebook group. Call it 'FWB London' or wherever region you are in the UK. Then there should be one for FUN abroad. Where you can arrange to meet up when you are holiday.

Have you tried any at all? Where abouts are you?

Not tried any as yet just considering my options as it were

I use FEELD. It’s not scary. Just be honest about what you want. I’m 63 and inundated with offers from younger men (I’m not interested in them). Set up a profile and have a look and delete if you don’t like it. It’s nowhere near as hardcore as FAB. You don’t have to be into kinky stuff just state what you are looking for and see what happens, good luck!

9 months is pretty early OP. You need to try Hinge and filter age and state what you are looking for. If you are wanting to go for dinners ect I would be careful not to get attached. I think its natural to get attached to someone you sleep with regularly.

Go for it, but communicate your boundaries and take your time to get to know someone as there are some dangerous/ odd people on OLD. At your age I was keen as a rabbit in Spring. By 55, I confine my bedroom adventures to how many cups of Horlicks it takes to get me to sleep, than how many rounds I can go with a Casanova. That is a menopause fairy having walked in the door and stolen my libido. So enjoy it while you can, and try different websites until you find what you want. I am sure you won't be short of offers. Good luck!

I have fwbs and having the best time of my life, and it’s THEM getting attached. I was always told men like cold sex and women want more, it’s just never been my experience.
I get all the best bits.. sex, affection, flirting, banter, friendship, dates, and none of the crap. It stays exciting. In my mid 40s I have men from 18 to 60s asking me out. Don’t understand this invisibility thing people talk about, my friends in their 50s say the same. Have fun OP!

How did you go about finding these guys?

I found a few on apps but in the last year it’s been chance meetings in person. Which I find better as it starts with chemistry. I feel like with the confidence of age, looks, knowing what I want and feeling more sexual than I ever have that it’s oozing out of me and I’m giving off pheromones all over the place because men are sensing it.

Well seems you only need to post on this thread to find men

I’ve had 5 messages from posters offering their services

not sure if should be flattered or they think I’m an easy shag

Have you been watching Good Luck to You, Leo Grande?

On here I'd reckon it'd be bots rather than actual blokes 😆
However I'd suggest Feeld for fwb arrangements. You are best in paying for a subscription for three months or so, as then you can see your likes and have free reign to message back and forth on the app.

I’m 35. I wasn’t even finding any I wanted for that so I’m retired 🤣

Maybe I have been very unlucky but in my area the single available men are best avoided.

I think it’s wild how they offer out sex to all and sundry without even knowing what the person looks like.

ive had the same on Reddit

Well indeed

if they are real (and reading this) then how do they know my area , or if I find them attractive or even if I’m their type

My advice is you should get married, then you could have it all the time, with no hinderances.

The other person still needs to consent - being married isn’t an entitlement to sex.

Oh this made me laugh out loud.

are you from the 50’s???

OP, how many divorced men do you know in RL? Maybe start there. Ask your friends to introduce you to people. I only ever met in person, can’t be arsed with the apps.