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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I can’t let go of the thought of him…

9 replies

AlertEagle · 23/06/2025 17:53

I have a very good looking neighbour. The first time I saw him I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I had a huge crush on him but saw him with someone so managed to get him out of my head. I then didn’t see him for a long time and he never crossed my mind until one day I was checking my make up with a mirror close to my window and he passed and he looked and he smiled at me and I smiled back.

From that evening I couldn’t I couldn’t get hi
out of my mind, I was hoping to see him each time I’m outside. Until again I saw him with a different girl so I thought its normal hes very good looking I need to let it go.

so I did until recently when I was at the shop and I was with a friend he stopped and looked at me, it was from a distance. I saw him multiple times after this and he was looking at me each time. I started to have the same yearning to see him again. I was very shy to make an eye contact with him.

the last time I saw him was a few weeks back I was walking opposite side of the road and he was getting into his car I took the courage to look at him for more than a second this time but at the same time some random guy tried to talk to me and ask for my number. My neighbour watched and then he got into his car and drove off.

I told myself that next time I see him I will smile and see how it goes and today was this day I saw him but with another girl going into his house. I dont know what I was thinking I think I may have been delusional. I really like him a lot of course I know nothing about him but I love what I see.

dont know the point of this post Im really struggling to get him off my mind each time I see him. How can I get over this and not feel such strong feelings for him each time I see him. Im really struggling to let go of the thought of him so I made this post for some advice. Thank if you read till the end. I also put my blinds down today and don’t want to look outside of the window incase I see him.

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 23/06/2025 18:33

I don’t know if you necessarily need to get him off your mind. It can be nice to have a crush. Enjoy your daydreaming and fantasies even if nothing will come of it.

AlertEagle · 23/06/2025 18:41

vincettenoir · 23/06/2025 18:33

I don’t know if you necessarily need to get him off your mind. It can be nice to have a crush. Enjoy your daydreaming and fantasies even if nothing will come of it.

It’s hurts me a lot that’s why I don’t want it to continue, I really struggle after each time I see him. I have created so many scenarios in my head and I don’t think this is normal. I struggle to fall asleep as well I don’t think it’s normal to have such strong feelings for a person I know nothing about.

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 23/06/2025 19:12

Ok, I see. It might help to rationalise it then. Humans are hardwired to reproduce and that’s why we have these strong sexual feelings. There’s probably hardly an adult in the world that hasn’t had an inconvenient crush. Try to see it for what it is.

Your future happiness does not depend on getting together with this guy. But if it’s really bothering you, you could always ask him for his number.

AlertEagle · 23/06/2025 21:25

vincettenoir · 23/06/2025 19:12

Ok, I see. It might help to rationalise it then. Humans are hardwired to reproduce and that’s why we have these strong sexual feelings. There’s probably hardly an adult in the world that hasn’t had an inconvenient crush. Try to see it for what it is.

Your future happiness does not depend on getting together with this guy. But if it’s really bothering you, you could always ask him for his number.

Thanks x. I think I will try to see it for what it is just a crush and even when I see him again I will not look at him it will be easier.

OP posts:
IToldYouSoSee · 23/06/2025 21:27

Seems like there’s a lot of female action - maybe he’s not ready for a proper relationship and you’ll save yourself some heartache?

Gymbunny2025 · 23/06/2025 21:41

Sounds like you need to get in the queue if you’re interested in him!!

seriously though it’s intoxicating when someone attractive that we fancy makes eye contact, smiles, chats to us. I think it’s how everyone feels! However it’s not normal that it’s affecting your sleep etc. could you try dating other people to distract yourself?

TheAvidWriter · 23/06/2025 22:53

Limerence maybe?

If he was interested in you I am sure he would have made that clear no?
Also, he clearly has women on the go going by your info.
Hope you are not being creepy with all the ogling and obsession.

AlertEagle · 24/06/2025 00:56

TheAvidWriter · 23/06/2025 22:53

Limerence maybe?

If he was interested in you I am sure he would have made that clear no?
Also, he clearly has women on the go going by your info.
Hope you are not being creepy with all the ogling and obsession.

I’m afraid is limerence the way I feel ticks all the boxes. I also thought if he liked me he would have said hi the least and maybe when he smiled when I was at my window it didnt mean anything.

OP posts:
AlertEagle · 24/06/2025 00:57

Gymbunny2025 · 23/06/2025 21:41

Sounds like you need to get in the queue if you’re interested in him!!

seriously though it’s intoxicating when someone attractive that we fancy makes eye contact, smiles, chats to us. I think it’s how everyone feels! However it’s not normal that it’s affecting your sleep etc. could you try dating other people to distract yourself?

I will try and date other people I just feel guilty to use other human beings to get over someone I dont even know. Im being ridiculous

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