Leaving domestic abuse - help needed

[Giraffe888]

after 11 years of physical, emotional and verbal abuse I’ve told my ‘DH’ that I want to separate. He’s refusing to move out of the house we own (mortgage) together
does anyone know how long an occupation order might take to get? And if granted, how long it might grant me to stay in the house?

we have 2 small children.

I’ve looked at moving out now into private rented accommodation just to escape here as we can’t continue living like this and it’s no good for the children. I’m just worried if I leave he will then do everything he can to not sell the house (even though he can’t afford to stay in it!)

many thanks

Have you consulted a solicitor?

if not, that needs to be your first task of today

If he refuses to leave and you go via the courts it will take a while. I'm a year down the line, 2 court hearings, and waiting for date for 3rd and final. So if you do move into rental make sure you can afford to do it for 2-3 years. During this time you do not have to pay the mortgage. But if he defaults it will affect your credit rating. Tell the mortgage company what is going on. Apply for a 'tenants in common' on the property to secure your 50% incase something were to happen to you, otherwise he'd get the whole house while it remains 'joint tenants'. Free to do, just Google.

The most important thing is to keep you and your children safe so do what you need. The money stuff will work itself out in the end. Good luck.

Forgot to add my situation is not for an occupational order. Just to get my share of the equity.

Have you had advice on an occupation order? They're difficult to get. You need legal advice. Try Rights of Women and contact a domestic abuse organisation for support.

@Thirdcoff yes I had a free consultation with a solicitor last week, this was before he was refusing to leave the house though. You’re right, he did say he wanted to separate, but because I’m now going through with it and have realised I’m done with all I’ve been put through, he’s backtracking and doesn’t want to separate!

@NeverEverOhNo I thought I would be liable for half of the mortgage if I move out? Solicitor said I would be. I can afford to rent but how long for does depend on if I’m liable for half of the mortgage. Is yours taking so long as your ex is refusing to sell?

solicitor that I spoke to said if we could agree ourselves on the house equity then we could just get a separation order drawn up that would cover us both

You are liable yes, but you cannot be forced to pay it. Just give him advanced notice, and leave the ball in his court. If he does not pay, then it will affect both your credit ratings. My ex would hate that so he has continued to pay the full mortgage because he is refusing to sell it. Court says I will still get more than 50% because he earns more. So although I am wasting money on rent, I'll get it back in the equity he is putting into the mortgage while we wait for the courts to decide. It's called patience and playing the long game!