SiL is starting to irritate me

[FinallyPregnant2022]

SiL of 10+ years - in the last 5 years both of us have had kids.
We have always ‘got along’ and had a good relationship but we are polar opposites. She is bubbly, super confident, positive and sociable with a busy social life.
I am quieter more modest (I wouldn’t say unconfident), a bit glass half empty, less social (but not antisocial).

As the years go on I find that she is becoming louder and self-focused to the point that I just find her irritating and I am starting to avoid contact.
I feel like anything is an excuse for a brag, and if she isn’t busy talking about herself - she is talking about her kids. I don’t mind fading away and becoming a wallflower but I don’t want my kids to fall into the shadow.

How do others deal with situations like this? Confrontation/talking to her about it would just cause drama and bitching.

I can't stand " bubbly" people so I think you have done very well to get along with her for as long as you have.

Personally I would just try to keep contact with her to the bare minimum - you say you are already avoiding contact with her.
I would continue to do that- only socialise when family events require you to actually meet up.

Well, according to Mumsnet the worst thing you can possibly be is extrovert, so you’ll get plenty of support on here!

What shadow? Any attempt to curtail her will, quite rightly, be seen as sour grapes.

Just a different perspective and a way to think of things.
Deep down are you jealous of this sister in law and her confidence. Is the women just telling you about her kids and life that may be going well and you just find it annoying.
What does your husband think?

@JustGiveMeWineNowI have considered this myself but no!
I’m reasonably confident, I’m fairly accomplished and have a good social life - we’re just different personalities.
My husband would agree that she’s loud and we have some ‘tongue in cheek’ banter about her from time to time but he’s incredibly defensive if his family and that’s as far as it goes

Well in that case you need to be honest with your husband that she really annoys you. Maybe when she ( I will name her Sally) is banging on the next time the two of you could burst into song “it’s all about you, it’s all about Sally” 🤣