What is this feeling?

[Tattooedteacher0621]

I’m good pals with someone. We’re both married. We’ve had a cheeky snog once when we were both drunk (no excuse I know).

Since then we’ve just been as normal. Tonight she told me that her and partner are having issues and that she’s spending time at a family members. Of course I sent a supportive message back saying I hope she’s ok etc.

Ive been sat here for the past half hour feeling what can only be described as a bit teary and with a warm feeling in my chest.

Is there a distinct possibility I have feelings for her that I didn’t even think I had? Just seems like a strange physical reaction. For ref I am female and so is she.

Well, it's possible yes. Or there could be another explanation. The outcome might depend on whether your feelings are genuine (time will tell). If they are genuine, amd reciprocated, she chooses to end her current relationship (or become polyamorous) and you are or.become single or polyamorous, you may end up together. If any of these aren't the case, you won't

Thanks for your reply. I guess the reason I asked is because other than the cheeky snog, I didnt think there was anything there, nor did I think about moving forward with anything.
I didn’t know if this was my bodies way of saying I’m attracted to her and I care more about her than I cared to admit. 🤷‍♀️ x

Are you happily married, OP?

I ask because if you're not happy in your marriage, it's tempting to look round and maybe see things that aren't there. Of course, it may be that there is something there.

Married, yes. Happily, meh.
I’ve gone almost 3 years with no intimacy but fundamentally my OH has done nothing wrong…

Ugh it’s not a “cheeky snog” it’s infinitely.

Grow up leave your wife, work on yourself so you don’t go round cheating on people then when ready get into a relationship. At the moment you sound completely unaware of the impact cheating has on people. I wish your wife well.

Not sure who made you judge, jury and executioner. If you must know, they know what happened because I told them the day after it happened. Because I made a mistake, a huge one. So I know exactly what impact it had.
I take the point about leaving - if this is feelings, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.

This is horrible. Your poor wife. So you're essentially just sticking with her until you figure out if this thing with your colleague has some potential?!
The right thing to do with be to be honest with your wife that you think you have feelings for the colleague you kissed and now her relationship is on the rocks you're considering leaving your own.
You are in a marriage, you don't get to make these choices in isolation. You owe it to your wife to be honest and figure out if you both want to work on your marriage or let it go.
That conversation shouldn't be dependent on whether or not your colleague is a potential future partner for you or not.

You need to sort this out first OP, that’s definitely not a happy marriage. Are you married to a woman? Or is your OH a man and you’re now thinking you might be realising you’re gay and have feelings for your friend? Most people don’t snog their same sex friends while drunk and then minimise it by calling it cheeky.

Focus on your marriage first, and either improve it or end it, before you give any more headspace at all to this friend.

Pretty much how DP and I got together. I spent a good week worrying that our snog was the catalyst that ended his marriage days later, but also quietly thinking about if I had feelings for him. (I later found out that the snog made him realise he needed to end 4 years of his marriage not working)

I ended our marriage within months of our drunken snog after I discovered XH was cheating on me again. Like you, I told XH about the snog the next morning as I was so ashamed. Cheating was what XH did, not me.

After a few years of sorting our divorces, lives, childcare, self improvement etc DP and I are going to be celebrating our 1 year anniversary next month.

Please resolve/end your marriage before you pursue anything with someone new. You owe your partner that.

For what it’s worth, sexuality is fluid, not necessarily fixed, for our lives, and it’s probably more common than you realise for women to move onto female partners once their reproductive hormones have cooled down (I.e don’t need men anymore).

Sounds confusing, but try to be as honest with yourself as you can, and do the right thing by the people involved.

Good luck!

I have a good male friend — best friend. He told me the other day that I could be sat there naked and it would have no effect on him. We love each other to bits but we know who we want to have sex with and it isn't each other.

Sometimes it's easy to confuse deep love and friendship for something sexual. Maybe there is some sexual attraction there. Only you can answer that. The important thing is to decide how you want to proceed.