Advice - soon to be single mum

[Justgettingbye]

Hi I am looking for advice. My OH has been getting massages which turn out not the massages, I googled the number and up came an hooker site. So I am done with him. I am going to silently leave and spend this time getting everything in order.

I haven’t the first clue about the legal side/money side of separating. We are not married, we have 3 children and have a shared bank account with a very small amount in. The house is joint tenancy 50/50. Other than that we have our own cars and own bank accounts. I do work, I don’t earn loads so would be willing to increase hours if need be. I don’t want anything from him, just want him to contribute to his children.

Don’t know where to start!

So sorry that men are so frequently such a disappointment. I don't have much advice other than stick with your decision, get tested for STIs, grit your teeth and do whatever it takes. Good luck. Am sure there will be many people along soon with sound and practical advice.

Op is it HA home if so if you explain to them you need to separate you may have him removed from tenancy and they may offer him another place,
Would he be willing to move out or would you need to move with 3 children if so see what options HA offer you,
Child maintenance go formal it's black and white then,
Agree children's care, depending on work patterns both you and him children's schooling, best times children go to spend time with him and you ,

Thank you it’s so pathetic. I got the sti test and it was bad news. Emotionally I’m processing it all and have good days and bad days and worry what it would be like for the DC. The house isn’t HA.

Wish there was something I could say to make this better, but I haven’t the words.
Practically - do you and the kids have somewhere to go? Realistically, even if he’s cooperative it could take a long time to sell the house and release any equity. Unless he’s in a position to buy you out??
Apart from whatever value is in the house - and however long it takes to get it - the only thing you can expect financially is child maintenance (you can check online exactly how much he’ll have to give). I must admit I’d try to get him to go and find somewhere to stay, give him the problem rather than you.

Me and the kids haven’t got anywhere to go my mum lives near me but she hasn’t room for all us. Thanks for mention CM wouldn’t think of looking online. He is financially
stronger than me. I would assume that I couldn’t afford the mortgage on my own but that’s just an assumption