Upset about work colleague?

[Topsyturvy999]

Im F/42, A M/40 colleague seemed interested in me by giving eye contact, eye brow raise & big smiles not long after I started the job 13 months ago. I noticed him as he seemed to give out the same body language that he was interested compared to what my exes did when they were interested. Sometimes he likes my posts on fb but recently he hasn't liked any.With all this I developed a crush on him
& I acknowledge him when I see him but move myself out of the office when he pops by as my emotions are intense. But I have recently noticed that when he comes into the office he shows videos of his new dogs / life but excludes me, even though he asked me for advice about his family pet he keeps others updated but not me, & when I bump into him things feel awkward & with this & not liking any of my posts anymore, I feel he Hates me or I have done something to upset him? I'm confused?

I think you're over-analysing his behaviour. Work is like that - you go through phases of talking to some colleagues a lot and then for weeks you don't speak to them. Unless there's something you're not telling us, you haven't done anything that could make him hate you.

Just continue to be friendly and professional around him. If you are both single and you genuinely fancy him, you could ask him if he'd like to meet up, but otherwise keep a professional distance.

If you keep leaving the office when he comes by ? I would assume he thinks you're not interested as would I in the same situation.
Take a breath and stop being odd when he is around.

NimbleTiger, thank you, I thought that, I remove my self as I get flustered & clumsy when he’s around.

@Topsyturvy999 - you sound a bit vulnerable.

The behaviour you describe was about a year ago. Nothing significant seems to have happened in the intervening period. If he was interested, I would have expected him to have asked you out by now. He may like you/fancy you but he’s not acting like he has any intention of dating you. He may not be available. He may like a bit of light flirting at work but not want anything more than that.

I’ve been in your shoes and got overexcited about someone who had no real interest in me so I know how this feels but it really doesn’t sound like he’s worth your continuing interest. In your shoes, I would work on getting over my crush.

Separately, I doubt he hates you. If you keep leaving when he’s around, he might think you don’t like him. He may just be responding to your awkwardness and intensity. But there’s no reason for him to dislike you.

I'm sorry but saying a 40 yo old male colleague hates you because he stopped liking your Facebook posts makes you sound a bit childish and OTT.

Of course he doesn't hate you. But you've been too shy to talk to him properly so he thinks you're not interested. And he happens to be friends with other people at work.

Maybe you should try and get a group of you down the pub after work, including him. That way you can try and sit with him and get to know him but in a casual way amongst others. So it won't be like a date.

Are you sure he’s single?

Dont shit or shag where you eat.

Stop thinking about this non-event of a man who you dont have a future with and who wont be the father of your children

Are you both 12 yrs old? This is teenage behaviour, be an adult and have a conversation. See if he's worth putting potentially putting your job on the line for.

I have a rule not to date work colleagues as it's messy when it breaks down.

Never shit on your own door step as they say and for good reason.

but move myself out of the office when he pops by as my emotions are intense

Aren’t they though. I agree with another poster, you do sound very vulnerable.

Have you had a relationship before?

If you can't cope with being in the same room as him because he smiled at you over a year ago how would you cope with the ups and downs of dating him and being in the same office?