Unfriended on facebook

[Explorers10]

My friend recently disappeared from Facebook and I noticed this around her birthday when I wanted to contact her to drop off her present. She is now back on Facebook and have seen photo posts on her husband’s wall going back to when she disappeared off it and I was taken back as to why I hadn’t seen them and then noticed the ‘add friend’ button.

i was completely shocked about this having spent time thinking about what to get her for her birthday and having dropped her present off, which she messaged me on watsapp saying thank you. She is godmother to my daughter and I am godmother to her son. We always exchanged presents for our birthdays, our kids birthdays, christmas, Easter and attend events christening, kids birthdays etc

I am not sure whether to reach out to say I’ve noticed we not connected anymore and check she is ok or whether to just move on. It has really stung and not sure what i have done for her to unfriend me. It does kill me to think all of a sudden that friendship is gone with my friend and my godson and no longer having them in my life anymore. Also I feel for my daughter who she is godmother to. The situation feels awkward.

I think it depends why. If the person I unfriended asked me I'd have just said something like, "18 months ago I told you that my child was diagnosed with cancer and unlikely to live. We were about to start a very intensive treatment program. In the past 18 months, you have not once asked me how we are doing or how I am. I have taken stock of who my friends really are and deleted anyone who hasn't asked even once how we are." Hurtful? Maybe. So was not being cared for by someone I thought was a close friend. I'd have been honest so they could maybe check themselves for future friends.

I kind of agree with @CandyCane457
Do you actually get together regularly, or is it one of those friendships that’s maybe run its course but no one seems prepared to say. The fact your husband has been deleted too tells me shes not interested in either of your friendships anymore. Either she just feels it’s time to move on and this is her way of saying, or you’ve both done/said something to upset her that you may not realise.

Oh give over, there are all kinds of friendships. Some of my oldest friends aren't on Facebook or hardly ever go on there, we don't buy each other birthday presents or cards and we send each other a text and see each other about twice a year, but it's still the same as ever when we see one another and have a great time. Being godmother to one another's kids and swapping presents is definitely friendship AFAIC. Social media doesn't matter.

Why is it odd? Do you only have one emotion or something?
Everyone is different and will feel things differently and that doesn't make it odd. Her feelings are valid!

Plus her husband was deleted too so it was clearly meant.

She did the write thing posting here first before reacting imo.

I probably wouldn’t notice if it was me - I’m not invested in who is or isn’t an FB friend or how much they post. In fact I was blocked by one but didn’t realise till a mutual friend asked me if she had - turns out they had a disagreement and mutual friend was blocked and so was I by association even though I had nothing to do with anything (I even live in a different country)!
I think it’s weird to be ‘stunned, upset, angry’ etc over what is likely to be a mistake. I’d have just simply asked her ‘hey have you blocked me? I don’t see your posts anymore’ and leave it at that (but in reality would not even do that).

Hmmm, from what you say, nothing seems to be wrong. Could be she has done it in error? Although with FB this is quite hard to do. You don't just click a button. You have to go through a specific procedure. Unless, as pps have said, she was having a clear out of people she doesn't have contact with/doesn't want to engage with any longer, and you got caught up in the cull! (Accidentally.)

This has happened to me before, and I contacted the person in question and asked if they realised they have unfriended me. Because AFAIK there was no reason for them to do so. They said 'OMG no, sorry!' and instantly sent me a friend request.

I have had people unfriend me who I have not had anything to do with for several years (and I have unfriended people too for this reason when I am doing a cull.) But I don't care if someone unfriends me when I've not spoken to them for 3 years, or had any kind of engagement on my posts and photos at all!

If it's someone you're in contact with fairly regularly, and have spoken to recently, then I would message her and ask if she realises she has unfriended you. If she says 'yes' then ask why.

No, I have plenty of emotions but if a friend who is close enough to be god mother to her child did this I wouldn’t automatically assume there’s anything wrong. I’d just ask them.

I noticed a good friend disappeared from Twitter a few years back so I messaged her and asked where she was and she’d closed her account: I didn’t jump to assuming she’d blocked me as she’s a friend.

I’d definitely ask, seems very odd. I’d want to know if i’d done something to upset her.

You were actively cutting the people out that clearly didn't care in real life too.
Would you have accepted a gift from them like Ops friend did?

I think honestly is the best but I think the Op needs to be able to realise that the friendship might be over if she asks.

I didn't want to re add my neighbour because her posts are awful and cringe. I did when she asked though for diplomatic reasons.

I wouldn't have accepted a gift from them. Maybe if they'd been apologetic and given a really good explanation, I'd have given them a chance, otherwise, no thanks.

I agree that OP needs to be ready for whatever answer she gets from her friend. That her DH has been removed too seems a bit much of a coincidence, but you just never know. I'd assume nothing and check in with friend.

God is it 2009? Facebook is a cess pit and not an actual indicator of who your friends are. You have her number on WhatsApp so haven't you been communicating with her on there?

Very unlikely to be a mistake if she’s ditched both of you.

Could be that she has been suffering mentally and deleted all friends on FB. Have a look and see how many friends she has just now.

Wondering she wanted to post about something she didn't want you to see? Maybe she blocked you, posted, then unblocked you and realised the process will unfriend you too.

One friend is making a point of ignoring me on Facebook. She is jealous of my holidays. I go to some amazing foreign places. She could too but chooses instead to be a member of the swanky Soho House and stays in their 5-star accommodation in the UK for £100s per night.

Two other friends have unfriended me. They are both on the far right of politics and are anti-vaxxers. I did on occasions point out their factual errors in their posts eg the long-since debunked claim that the MMR jab causes autism. They didn't appreciate it.

Send her a friend request and she might realise she unfriended you accidentally.

Or it will make her squirm if she deliberately unfriended you.

I think for your own sake you need to contact her and ask why.

You seem very anxious about how and/or if she will respond, but you have no control over this.
All you can control is to ask the question, even if you don't get an answer, unfortunately.

Doesn’t sound like a mistake if she deleted your husband too. Did your husband say or do something that prompted her to delete both of you? Maybe behind your back?

She doesn’t sound like a friend.

Have always communicated on messenger with her so that was always her go to as opposed to messaging on watsapp so thats why I found it odd for her to disappear around her birthday as a way to contact her.

Having read a comment about our friendship being dead anyway, even though we don’t speak often when we do meet it’s like we are friends that never parted and our kids get on very well together. I take the comment on board that maybe there is something missing in our friendship that could be why. we have been friends since very young.

It maybe that she is struggling mentally. I will ask her why she deleted me and try not to be too worried about the reply. I am quite an anxious person and take things really to heart and over analyse everything before speaking up so have completely exhausted myself. Sounds stupid I know. Talking about the situation on this chat has really helped with everyone’s contributions and comments thank you

Ask her. Or delete Facebook as who has got time to be arsed with all of that?

Hard to know. Maybe its run its course. I was deleted off some friends pages but we not as close. No fallout just not meeting regularly.

Please just pick up the phone, you’re going to twist yourself into knots wondering and the only way to find out is by asking.

It is indeed odd, I was assuming it was Facebook glitch until you mentioned your DH had been unfriended at the same time. If there’s been a misunderstanding it’s best to find out so it can be rectified as soon as possible. Good luck.

did you ever find out @Explorers10