moving 90 miles away with child

[newmummylucy]

Sorry - I am posting this under relationships now as i have just posted under the wrong area of mumsnet

Hello - I have posted on this issue before but am seeking more advice on the subject as I am scared I will get in trouble for just moving
I am going through divorce with husband and we are currently situated in a very expensive area of London in his home he had prior to our relationship. He has moved out and living elsewhere (I dont know where) and we currently cant release any money from the property to go towards dividing assets due to the cladding/EWS1 form issue
My family live 90 miles away and I am being told by husband I must live in either Buckinghamshire (near his family) or surrey - however I am wanting to be around my support network which is in sussex.
Husband has advised he will give me X amount of money a month for CM which is nowhere near enough and is his legal bare minimum and so I will be needing to work a lot more hours than I currently do to afford bills, food, basic living etc...In order to work more hours I feel i need my families support for childcare but my husband has point blank refused me moving and changing our childs school
I cant afford surrey with no support around me and don't feel buckinghamshire is a good option as it will isolate me from my family and means I have to rely on his for support.
My solicitor has advised I go ahead and move where I like as the worst he can do is a prohibited steps order - however this scares me a lot as he has a lot of money to throw at courts and lawyers.
He currently sees our child every other weekend and many times that has resulted in me picking up his weekends and doing 5 weeks in a row etc. He doesnt call our child every night like we had agreed and he does things like booking 2 week holidays without the consideration of seeing our child. I had to go away for a week recently and he called me days before saying he could no longer look after our child so he insisted i had to cancel my trip
He is also seeing our child this weekend but only for the day and has given me a curfew of 8pm to be home and has refered to himself as 'babysitting' our child
In terms of moving 90 miles away I have suggested 50/50 in the holidays which he doesnt want, and have suggested every other weekend and phone calls every night etc which we are meant to be doing now
Thankyou - please be kind. I am just trying to do my best and build a life for my child

I don’t know the legalities, but I would suggest you document every time he has not had a child for the weekend. Have all of that evidence together. Document everything.

I think you have every right to move. If he was an involved, father who had the child half of the time and was actively involved in everything, the answer would be different.

But you are doing the majority of childcare with little to no input from him, and it would be best for you and more importantly, the child to be in a stable supportive environment. Where the caregivers actually show up.

It sounds like he’s more invested in controlling what you do than he is in having a relationship with his child

Go with your solicitor. Any reasonable Judge will understand your reasons and for good measure do an income v expenditure projection for the two options he suggests, print out example rental properties etc so if the worst happens you will be in a position to show that these are not affordable. Do be fair also and email him to let him know what is happening and emphasise co parenting and both maintaining contact with DC is a must.

Go with your legal advice. Move where you need to in order to have support and if that's 90 miles away so be it.

Agree with pps. Keep a detailed diary and screen shot/ save all communications. Also follow the
"getting ducks in a row" advice that is repeated all over relationships board. Briefly it means gathering every single piece of financial information and legal documents you can find and copying them.